Ordinary day

     Day two of school found Squirrel chasing Sissy all over the playground like a fool. She didn't want to leave and just kept running from one tiny space to the next. She absolutely wouldn't mind or listen. She just straight up did not want to leave school. We are happy that she enjoys school this much; but at the same time.. we cant have this behavior continuing. Perhaps tomorrow a "you have two more minutes to play, then come back" type of technique..and/or enlisting the teachers help.. something.  Today again Sissy had to use her backup pants that were packed for her. Yesterdays brand new shorts were not in her bag (where we thought they would be). When asked, her teacher said that todays were in her bag, and she would have to find out about yesterdays as she had the day off. Once home the soiled pants in the bag were not hers. Rabbit washed them and we will send them back clean... hope the parent that's getting our clothes is doing the same. 

     Bug did very well in school today according  to her teacher. She has noticed that her appetite is 'out of proportion' for a toddler. She said right now they are just letting her eat because they want her to realize that there will be enough food for her there. Eventually they will scale it back a bit. This is pretty much what we have done at home, She now is comfortable that there will be enough and eats more like a toddler as far as portions go. 

     We were both curious as to how the Bio visit would go today. Who would show up? How would the girls behave tonight? The answer is.. NO ONE showed up! Two days in a row must have been to difficult; after all,.. the meeting place is 3 or 4 whole blocks away. 

   We find it so difficult ... the not knowing ... How long will the lovable Duo be with us? It will be so hard when we have to give them back to (we are sure) lesser care than we could provide. And then to know that we most likely will not see them again. I know that reunification with Bio is always the goal.. but it doesn't feel like there is much effort to make things better.  

   

New Routines

.. So today was the first day of school. The plan is for Rabbit to drop off and Squirrel to pick up.

Of course THIS would be the morning that the girls decide to sleep in. Any other time they are up and at em bright and early. Rabbit actually had to dress them while they were mostly sleeping. We were going to grab a quick breakfast here before; (even though the school provides breakfast), because that is part of our morning, and the Duo is so food driven. We didn't want to add to their first day anxiety by adding an empty belly in the mix of of new places and faces.  Well... Due to the sleep in - it was a school breakfast for them.

Bug was not happy at all when Rabbit left her. Her teacher said that she cried for a little while, but them came around (like kids always do) and played and enjoyed her day.

Sissy just loved school! didn't really want to leave, and once home.. repeatedly asked to go back. She is all excited about her 'new friend'!

During the day our visit supervisor/transport person went and picked the Duo up for Bio visit. The teacher told Squirrel that she herself was a little nervous about how the kidddos would react to leaving with someone that was not us.. but they recognized her and had no issue leaving with her. How nice it is that there is a person to pick up from and deliver back to daycare three times a week. We were worried how we were going to manage that.

Mom showed up with Dad this time. Worker said they were both very excited to see him.

Squirrel has mixed feelings, and wishes it was either ALL or NONE.. the half hearted effort put forth only confuses the Duo. (and Squirrel too).

Karma

Some may call it karma, but I have always felt that good begets good, but the kindness that has been shared with us over the last four weeks has been absolutely mind-blowing.

If you ever want somewhere to donate kids items or volunteer, consider a foster closet.  They are our saving grace.  Today Sissy and I went up and took a few items that we outgrew and picked a few new pairs of pants and a pair of shoes for school.  We also got more toys.  Yes, more toys.  We now have two dump trucks so that we don't argue over one and we found a Little People Airplane!  Sissy was very well behaved and very helpful during the visit.

Earlier in the day a neighbor posted about two free tricycles... we got those as well (now we have 3 and 2 wheel bikes).  This evening the next door neighbor brought over new shoes.

None of this is going unnoticed... it is all greatly appreciated.  Much of your kindness will spread.  As the girls outgrow clothes and items we will be sure to pass them to other foster families.

Everyone has just been so kind and supportive in this crazy journey.  With the support of items we are able to take the girls to a "school" of our choice and not fret over our out of pocket costs.  Just one pair of shorts from the foster closet is basically the equivalent of 2 hours of payment for school (yes the girls will be receiving some state aid). School starts tomorrow and the girls are very excited.  We have our bags packed and our clothes set out.

We have a few more avenues to pursue for care for the girls.  It has been so busy we haven't even taken the time to set up their W.I.C., but Squirrel has agreed to take on that task as I tackled the school paperwork (and still have more to go).

Many say that the girls are so lucky to be with us.  Really the girls are lucky to have everyone else cheering them on.

In other exciting things today we had a crazy toddler gathering of family at our house today.  Six under four makes for exciting times.  They all did fairly well... there were no major injuries, so maybe it went extremely well.  We did have an issue toward the end when the little one had a banana and our girls did not get, but that is their food insecurity kicking in.  I have so many hopes for school and this is just one of them.

Hopes for School
1. Peer pressure potty training for both
2. Decrease separation anxiety
3. Decrease food insecurity
4. Play boundaries
5. Patience
6. Academic fundamentals (colors, abc's, counting)
7. Quit eating our fingers

Busy Rainy Saturday

There is a silver lining to having a pair of kids out of a greater sibling group.  A comrade that is the foster parent of a sibling.  We have been so fortunate that Big Sister's foster mom likes to get together.  We met last night in a local park for pizza and some play time for the girls.  Since she has been fostering kids for so long she knows so many of the answers and we are finding that some of the answers to our questions that were given by our licensing worker may have been incorrect!  We will have to have some conversations with our case worker to find out some policies.

While waiting at the park for Big Sister, Sissy met a little girl and was playing very nicely.  Come to find out, this little one lives just down the street from us!  Interesting as well is that they are in the process of becoming foster parents as well.  Sounds like their process is going pretty smoothly and they are going with another very reputable agency.  Hopefully we are able to visit more because Sissy and the little one played so well.

We intended to maybe join Big Sister for the downtown movie, but Bug was way too sleepy.  We will get together with them again soon.

This morning was great in that the girls slept until 8!  We then went downstairs and I had them "help" me make eggs for breakfast.  Their food patience is better if they help.  After breakfast it was a normal, but busy day.  We had a lot planned, and we were unsure of how this would go.  I imagine our day would be difficult for a typical family, much less a foster family.

Sissy and I dashed out to get a high-back booster seat or two for her.  We need to start using both vehicles to transport the girls next week (I drop off and Squirrel picks up from school).  Sissy was very excited to be able to go shopping with me.  As we left it put Bug into a grand melt-down.  We need to continue to do the separation time.  I feel like we are doing immersion therapy or something!
Once at the store we found the seat, but of course, they only had one.  We go to the foster closet again tomorrow so w e will see if they have one, otherwise we will find another store.  Sissy and I also got some flour so we can really practice patience with food and make some bread or rolls.

Next was home where we gathered and then walked to a neighborhood picnic.  Squirrel and I don't normally go to all the events but we are trying to push the girls into many new situations.  Sissy often requests to "go home" so we are trying to make her more comfortable in public.  At the picnic we met a police officer that was kind and we were able to once again press that they are helper people.  We had some hot dogs and we played with more new kids!  It is great that every time we seem more and more willing to play with others.

After dogs we walked back home and loaded up into the truck.  The duo was very excited as this was their first ride in the truck.  We picked up a piano bench to be our shoe spot in our front door and then headed to a party.

The party was not met with the most enthusiasm, but the girls settled in.  There were a lot of older kids so they watched what was happening.  Eventually they did decide to play outside in the gentle rain.  They felt so lucky as we allowed them to have orange pop, chips, and cookies! This did however ruin our dinner.

We ended up leaving when Sissy pooped her pants.  We have had no successful tries with this.  I took her in the house and put "baby" diapers on her instead of her underwear.  She wanted nothing to do with it and cried and fussed and we immediately packed up and left the party.  We had been there a while and were thinking of leaving, but this made it clear.  Sissy was very upset to be missing the party and promised to not poop her pants anymore.  I didn't enjoy not being able to console her, and even pushing her to her crying, but I can't be continuing to change her pants, especially when she pees in the potty all the time now.

For the first time in a month we were able to have dinner with the neighbors.  The girls all played well together, none of the three really ate, but they did so well until... yeap, Sissy pooped her pants.  She and I stomped off home and changed her and this time really did put a baby diaper on her (the previous was a pull up).  We went and played at the neighbors again for a little then came home for our bubble baths, books, and bed.

Not really a lot out of the ordinary today.  We were pretty much like a typical family.  It took us four weeks to get here, but I think it is all falling into place.

Four weeks later...

Following yesterday's nap we headed out for our family visit.  I am looking forward to next week when I am not at them (our agency will pick the kids up from school and return them to school).

Just a gentle warning on this post... I'm in a mood.

Our visit was held at a park that is local to the biomom's house because she doesn't have a vehicle.  The kids and I got there and this park is nothing like the other parks we have been at.  It is run down, has broken items, a sandbox with who knows what in it and I'm scared of what is lurking in the grass that has not been cut in weeks.

As I'm unbuckling the kids a car pulls up.  Yes, a car pulls up.  Biomom is driving.  What the?  You mean I'm at this park for your convenience (only 2 or 3 blocks from her home) and you drive (I'm censoring myself here folks).  We are supposed to be meeting at our agency's office so that it is fair to all parties however biomom has yet to produce her lice free letter.

Here I am.  I didn't get a shower this morning because your baby was up with a fever for much of the night and then your 3 year old decided she was getting up at 7.  Coffee... yeah, I forgot to drink my coffee as I was feeding your kids.  

Nice to see you had time to put on a pretty sparkling shirt.  I'm wearing yesterday's shorts since they were still mostly clean and I did put on a clean t-shirt.  I combed my hair and brushed my teeth.  Oh, and I did that for your kids as well.  Nice make-up... did you realize you were going to the park?  Where did you manage to get the clothes because it isn't like you have been working or that you bothered to clothe your own kids.  Yeap, out of all the items you sent your kids with I was able to use none of them.

I take my book and find a corner to sit in.  Biomom plays in the sandbox with the kids, or rather sits on the side as they play.  Sissy sits right in front of her to get her attention.  Pictures with her fancy phone are taken.  (I have a solution, get a cheap burner phone and instead of your fancy phone pay your water bill)

Bug is a bit under the weather so I let biomom know that she is a bit slower going today as she is running a fever.  She doesn't ask about her care or what I have been doing to work on this... her response is "yeah, I've been in and out of the hospital for the past few weeks".  Really, um... no.  Little secret here honey, we have been keeping up a bit from the caseworkers, DHS, and the other foster mom.  We know that your caseworker told you literally TEN times about court that you then skipped.  It has been 3 weeks since we last saw you.  Frankly, I'm starting to think you just don't care.  If that is the reason you missed visits you should be prepared with some paperwork.

At one point during our hour visit the employee from the agency asked if biomom brought any snacks or items for the kids.  Of course she hadn't.  It is an expectation of our agency that bioparents use this time to work on their parenting skills and one of those things is to do things like snacks.  Of course I had grapes, crackers, and ice water waiting in the car for immediately following the visit.  When the visit ended biomom also handed me Bug and said, I think she pooped.  Yes, kids poop, and don't you think you could have tried to maybe ask if I had a diaper and change her?  My poor bug.

Well, at least she showed up, right?  Two visits in four weeks... boy, these are some lucky kids.

Gloat moment though.  Sissy told her mom all about her bedroom, that I ride a "big motorcycle", what their new nicknames are, how they visited school.

Post-visit went fine.  Kids were happy that I was going to make chicken.  We had a good dinner and then had watermelon outside.  Bug was very clingy and later that night her fever broke, but the poor kid ended up with soaked PJs.  Today she is definitely feeling better, but tired.  Sissy had one of her best behaved days and even was doing well for toilet training.

This morning has been an okay one.  The kids were up at seven which then prompted an early breakfast.  At least the getting up part will be good for next week.  Around 10 we were starting to get demanding of a snack.  We have been battling the food insecurity and the demanding items so I pulled out two cookbooks and I sat with Sissy and talked about baking a snack.  I wanted something a bit difficult, but not impossible, and not out of a box.  We didn't get anything as difficult as I would like as I don't have a lot of flour in the house (for bread), but I did find a recipe for Peanut Butter Oat Muffins (we could have done cookies, but I'm not going to have them know those talents yet).  I pulled out the step stool (Squirrel is going to hate how disorganized the pantry is) and had Sissy hop up.  Bug became interested so I brought a chair out and she hopped up as well.  We have been avoiding having them up on items in the kitchen, but I have to get across to Sissy that food isn't instantaneous.  Out came a metal mixing bowl and a spoon.  I measured the ingredients by the quarter cup so we did some counting practice (up to 5 for 1 1/4 cups of flour).  Sissy had to get all the brown sugar lumps out of the dry ingredients.  Bug and I worked on the liquids (milk, eggs, peanut butter).  We put the wet in the dry, Sissy mixed.  Into mini muffin tin they went and then we learned about waiting for the oven to beep.  Sissy was able to see the muffins "grow" in the oven and was actually quite patient.  I made a production of pulling the muffins out of the hot oven and waiting for them to cool.  All in all, it was a good lesson and we were more patient when it came to lunch.  Sissy did, however, eat nearly a whole pan of mini-muffins (20 to a pan).  The rest are being saved for Squirrel and our visit with Big Sister this evening.

Lunch went well, we made fish sticks and tater tots in the oven (to practice our patience waiting for the beep).  Once again I made only enough for one serving (also watching the over eating).  Sissy was okay with it and Bug... well, I have a great picture of her falling asleep in her high chair.

It is now almost the end of nap time, the dishes are almost done, the laundry ready to be brought up, and I need to get the snack ready.  I think I'm going to be brave and serve watermelon since it is already cut up from last night.

Four weeks down... many, many more to go.

Bug has a bug

After yesterday's naps our great day turned gray.  Bug is coming down with something or teething (her molars still are coming in) so she has been battling a little fever and is very tired and clingy.  Sissy was just pushing all buttons possible.

Our post nap did not include putting our big girl underwear on because we had been unsuccessful all day and I frankly did not wish to clean up any more.  Sissy had no regrets to what she was doing and it didn't phase her that she had peed next to our bed.  Since Bug was not well and Sissy was already being difficult and not minding boundaries we opted to stay in for the evening (we had been to the park in the morning).  It was a good decision.  After dinner (where I was a bit lazy and served Chipped Beef (ham) on toast... aka Shit on a Shingle) the duo settled very quickly and we went to bed by 9 PM and slept quickly.  When I served the toast Sissy thought it was great and started in on her plain toast.  She was unsure of it when we put some of the "gravy" on it, but then had more than one piece.  Bug ate little, but then again, she wasn't feeling well.

During the night Bug was a bit cranky and then around 5 AM was not happy at all.  We gave her some ice water and when I held her she stopped fussing, so I just had to have her sleep with us and we managed another 2 hours.

This morning was a bit of a whirlwind as we had to visit school.  After Squirrel went to work I fed the duo and when they were done I was able to send Sissy up to get herself dressed.  She did it!  I'm going to start picking her outfits out every night and then start a routine where she dresses herself.  Some of her underwear have characters only on the front so that helps her put them on correctly.  We have also taught her about where the tags go in clothes so they are going on in the right direction.  Shoes are also going on correctly!

Off to school we went.  I stayed in Bugs classroom with her and Sissy went to her future class.  Bug was quite fussy for the first few minutes because her sister was taken away, but after 10 minutes or so she started to follow me as I played with a few items.  When our time was up Bug was content enough that I could have left her there.  When we went to get Sissy her class was outside and she was doing very well.  No fussing and didn't even come running over, but kept playing.  She will do very well.

We wore our big girl pants to school and had no issues.  After our school visit we went to Target (I wanted to check out booster seats) and we did very well.  For about 1/2 our trip Sissy was walking and Bug riding.  After a bit Sissy was not minding so into the cart she went, but did not fuss and we were able to finish shopping.  We didn't pick up any seats, but I know what they have so I should be able to check out Meijer and then make my purchase (we need 2, one for each for Sissy since I'm doing school drop off and Squirrel is doing pick up).  We did however grab a giant box of diapers on clearance (even if we don't need them I can take the extras to the foster closet) as well as some shoes for Bug and new shorts and a sweatshirt for Sissy.  Bug is always stealing Sissy's pink sweatshirts so since it was on clearance and pink I figured it wouldn't hurt as it will be good for both girls.

Bug's new shoes... just a tad big since they are a 6, but the 5 was a tad too small.

After Target we got home and I quickly served up some lunch and realized that I had not had any coffee and therefore was not tolerating all the whining well (Sissy is a terrible whiner).  Sissy did not have any accidents while out and when we got home went protesting up the stairs to the big girl potty... she did however use it!  This self-sufficient kid likes to also dump and flush her own so hopefully we move her over to the real "big" potty so that I'm not having her accidentally dump it on the floor.

We played a little after lunch, but there was no fussing when I said it was time to go upstairs.  Sissy didn't like that I read Bug's book first, but they both went down for their naps.  Bug is up already (only an hour) but I do have to wake Sissy in a half hour as we have a family visit this afternoon.  With all this activity we will probably go to bed early again tonight!

Our visit this afternoon is close to their biomom's house.  She hasn't done a visit in 3 weeks, I wonder if she will show today.  It is right at our snack time so I'm going to be kind and take one with us as I know she won't even think about it.

Well, time to pack that snack.  At least our diaper bag is fully packed from this morning's outing.  Bug's meds are kicking in after her nap as well so she isn't a crazy furnace child.

Gold Star for Rabbit

We are officially registered for "school" and start next Monday.  Squirrel says that I get a gold star.  This morning after our breakfast the girls and I packed up and took our forms to the school and we will start bright and early Monday morning.  Tomorrow morning we will be going in and spending some time before our potential family visit.  At that visit I will be sure to take the diaper bag as our quick visit today resulted in poop in underwear (which is the first time Sissy pooped in her underwear).  

Right now we are spending the funds for day care out of our pocket.  We need to get our payment approved by DHS (Department of Human Services), but neither one of us wishes to continue burning our vacation time right now as we may need it throughout the year.  We also picked a facility that DHS only pays about half the cost.  There are facilities that are full pay, but the parents that need those facilities need them more than we do.  Financially we also know that we will be fine.  Our first payment from the state has come in so we know we are in the system.  When we started the process we also checked with our accountant on how this affects our taxes, and we are able to claim the duo if they live with us for more than 6 months of the year.  This and the child care deduction will help us offset the cost a bit more.  

In the fall Sissy's care will be almost entirely free as we hope to get her enrolled in a PreK program for at risk children and the only cost will be the early drop off.

Having day care will also give us a break.  We have had to be constantly with the duo for the past 3 weeks.  There has not been a minute that one of us are not with them.  Unlike most families we can't have just anyone stay with the kids for us to get a moment away.  We are also working on our separation anxiety.  Potentially after a few weeks at school we may be able to have the girls spend some time with one of the 3 approved caregivers that we have.  This week we have started hanging out with the neighbors a bit more (now that the little bug issue is handled) and that makes us feel more normal.  

Another hope with school is that the girls are a bit more "worn out" in the evening and we are able to tuck them in earlier without the fear that they will get up earlier.  Lately they have been up with us until around 10 PM, but then we are able to try to keep them in bed until 8 AM.  At school they won't get their 2 hour nap so maybe we can shift that to 8 PM - 7AM.

I am also looking forward to school feeding them.  Is that terrible of me?  I feel like I am constantly feeding and cleaning with the 3 meals and 3 snacks a day.  We have cut back a little on portions, but the food insecurity will be a hard battle.    

After our visit at school today for registration we stopped at the park... Bug is not having a great day and she just wanted to sit with me rather than play.  We napped immediately after lunch and now we only wish to be held again.  One handed typing sucks!  

In other news, I have shown them that Olive (the cat) loves to be brushed.  

Check out the cool Hello Kitty duds!

Oh my, as I was posting that we had a major head whack to the coffee table (by Sissy). We now have both learned what the cat feather toys are (had to pull them out to stop the screaming).

After yesterday's blog I had some questions about Birthdays and Gift Cards.  If you wanted to share you are welcome to, but you are by no means obligated.  Sissy's birthday is first week of October and Bug is last week of March.  Our favorite stores are Target, JC Penny (with their sweet coupons that we get nearly free stuff) and Amazon (I know, shop local, but you can find great things and have them magically show up at your door).  You can also make an impact with your local foster agencies.  This week we are getting new backpacks from our agency who got them from a local church.  

Is it Monday yet?  I am looking forward to the break that school will provide.

Mom's Court Date

What happens when a mom doesn't show up in court?

Any last thread of hope you may have had for her seems to disappear.  In the beginning we hoping she had a chance.  Now we are wondering how you could just leave such beautiful little girls.

This is the beginning of our fourth week with the duo.  It is my turn to stay home until we get the girls into day care (should be next week).  As I sit here I am seeing on the baby monitor my very apprehensive cat leap onto Sissy's bed during nap time and I don't have the heart to stop their moment as this is a first.  We have had a tough 3 weeks.  Maybe even the cats know that this may be for a very long time so they should get used to it.

Today it was confirmed by our Case Worker during her visit that their father is indeed incarcerated.  Their grandmother was being looked at as a possible family visit, but that too was firmly a negative.  The 7 year old sister will most likely go with her father's family soon and we are pretty much all these two have right now.  Hopefully after the sister transitions we can maybe have some contact info to do some occasional visits.

At this point there is no movement to moving these two into any sort of permanency, it going to be limbo for a while until there is any direction one way or another.  Their mom needs time to figure out which way her life is going before any direction can be set for these two.  As we are licensed as a long term home we figured there would be some potential holidays and such, but now it is looking more real.  As a early holiday shopper we have already started stashing items for birthdays and holidays.  Squirrel and I have always spoiled each other, and we know we will want to spoil the girls too, but we get very little financial assistance from the state for birthdays and holidays.  If you are interested, the actual amount given for Christmas is $25.  The scouring of clearance aisles, discount stores, and Salvation Army has begun.  We do need to start bringing the items in the house though... Squirrel's truck does not need to become Toyland.  We also need to consider other things, like warmer clothes, booster seats so we can take the kids in both vehicles, new beds (on their way from a friend).

We did get solid times for the visits now so there will be no surprises.  There will also be confirmation calls prior to visits so that we won't have too many no shows, but I don't think there will be too many visits.  We also received the name of the kids' Child Advocacy Team so we will meet a lawyer soon.

In our day to day life we have been having some success with potty training!  I did give Sissy a piece of chocolate for using the big girl potty this morning and she wanted another piece so she went back on the chair and would not get up.  She was terribly upset that she couldn't go potty because she really wanted another piece of chocolate.  At nap time today she didn't want to change into her pull-ups, but I really don't want to wash all her bedding daily.

Speaking of bedding, the kids helped me change all mine today!  They really love helping.  We have nearly the whole house kept clean, but our room and the music room.  I think I can have our room clean this week and the music room clean next week and we will have our new normal in the house.

I must end the blog for today, I'm not sure how much more nap time I have left as the cat has wandered back into the girls' room and Bug is sitting on the floor loving it.  I told Bug already that she can come downstairs and leave her sister sleep, but she didn't want to so it is only a matter of time before Sissy wakes as well.

Falling into a routine

I love baby monitors.  Here I am waiting for them to fall into their nap, but I can get some other things done with gentle reminders to get back in bed.  They have hit the manic stage so I expect it will be in the next 5 minutes and then all will be quiet for two hours.

After yesterday's midday post we took a trip to the store after our naps.  (Note to self: Do not enter JC Penny by the front side of the building as that is where all the Disney stuff is)  We decided to go to JC Penny because we had the buy $10 get $10 off coupon.  We were able to pick up a few extra (free) clothes.  I don't always use those coupons, but now with the Dynamic Duo and knowing the needs of the foster closet I won't fail to use them ever!  If you have one and you are not going to use it, I'll be happy to use it for some clothes for the foster closet.  Of course we had not read the fine print and it does not apply to Disney which of course were the new underwear that Sissy picked out so as I took the kids to the car Squirrel found out that she was 3 cents shy on spending her coupon and had to quickly grab another item so she got Bug some shorts.

When I took the kids to the car Bug had a complete meltdown.  She is having incredible issues with separation.  I had to force her into her car seat and felt like a big bully.  We drove in circles... she screamed.  She was not happy until Squirrel got back to the car.  Our next stop was Target.  This is the first time we took both girls to the store other than the grocery store.  Because of our grocery store lessons, we put both in carts immediately.  Issues arose when we picked out some new non-fluoride toothpaste as they are just learning to brush and I handed it to Sissy.  Bug again had a fit.  So, yes, if you were in "our" Target yesterday around four o'clock that was our toddlers screaming.  Onward we went and now instead of taking our carts down the aisles, we would leave them in the middle of the big isle and dash down the side aisles for what we wanted, especially when we wanted to look at toys.  We may have picked up our last box of diapers for sissy!  We are only using 2 a day now as we are proud of our underwear.  Pull-ups go on for nap and night.  We did all our shopping in underwear and we have gone for walks in them as well.  Our issues come at home, but we are getting there.  Today when we were getting ready for our walk (we did it before our nap as it may storm tonight) I sent Sissy up to try to go.  She went up happily.  A few minutes later she came down in some pink pants...  I went back up with her as she had no underwear under (something their older sister does) and I found her other ones wet, but in the bathroom.  I also found a puddle on the floor.  No scolding, we just cleaned up and put new underwear on and new pants.  (side note: the pants we put on today were another item given to us by strangers... one of Squirrel's moms co-workers gave the girls each a brand new outfit.  We can't say thank you enough to everyone out there)

Back to yesterday... We finished our Target run in the food area.  Food is such a big deal to these girls that I needed it to be the end or we would have never made it through the store.  Cheese, milk, bread, and coffee and we are good.  At home we played outside, but food was quickly on our minds.  We cheated (again) and Squirrel went out and picked up some cheap Domino's pizzas.  We slowed down a bit on the food... last time we managed to eat almost 2 large pizzas, this time only 1 medium.  Bug was down to one piece of pizza, Sissy two, which is probably better for their age.

After dinner was our typical walk and then bath.  Baths were followed by some Tinkerbell since we didn't watch it all day and then since Sissy wasn't quite ready for bed we put on a nature show... she crashed very quickly.

We have been letting them stay up until nearly ten every night as we hope for some reprieve in the morning, but they are always up before eight and ready to eat.  After breakfast we played inside and then outside where they helped me "weed" the front flower beds.  Basically we pulled everything out that we could.  We ate again and then Squirrel went out for her own afternoon (last one before she goes back to work tomorrow).  The kids and I took the dogs for a walk and then up they went without argument for reading and nap.  That is when I discovered that I would be spending nap time doing laundry rather than work.  Sissy showed me where she peed (when she then came down in pink pants) and it was on her bed... a giant puddle of pee.  She even managed to pee on her books!  At least we were able to take care of it before it was bedtime.  I just gently asked her if next time she was going to have an accident, try not to hit the books.

So folks, that is what we are up to.  A lot fewer diapers, but more laundry.  Do any parents of toddlers really bother to sort colors?  I basically have: bleach, may bleed, won't bleed as my three loads.  At least I have kept up.

I think I have an hour left to nap time.  Time to sneak a quick shower and then get to some paperwork for getting them in "school" and some real work too before I have to have their snack ready for when they wake.

Art Fair Day

I'm going to try something different for a change... a midday post.  Everyone has gone to sleep except for myself so laundry is going and I have taken care of a few odd things around the house.  One of those things was to frame a new print we picked up at the Art Fair today.  It was really a quick grab, but with a 3 year old on your arm you don't get much time.  Squirrel had spotted a whimsical style that she likes and so I went in with Sissy and we came out with this:

http://www.bitowhimsey.com/collections/all-products/products/key-to-the-city

It wasn't my favorite piece, but it was the one that spoke to me that I had to grab it or I would always think about it.  You see, we tell the girls often that we are going on an adventure and it has helped us try so many new things together.

The piece is frame now in a poster frame so that it can be hung in the girls' room.  A little something more to make this their home.  Sissy and I have already picked a spot for it.

The whole trip to the Art Fair was done with much skepticism on Squirrel's part.  Last night the girls were terrible about bed so we were all exhausted this morning.  I think for a 2 and 3 year old, we did marvelous.  We walked through most of the booths, we touched very little, we admired a lot.  Bug admired things that were 3 dimensional and Sissy more the painting and 2 dimensional pieces.  We already seem to know that we have an artist and an engineer on our hands.

An interesting point was when Bug saw three women in "fairy" costumes and went running up and gave one a hug.  When Sissy saw them she freaked out and wouldn't go near them.  We now have coupons for the Renaissance Festival so maybe that will be a fall adventure.

The rest of today should be just a bit more on the normal side.  We do need to go out to the store as we promised Sissy some more underwear.  They have also eaten all the bread, cheese, and milk in the house.

Off we go, I may add more later today.

Big Girl Pants

You have to remember that as it approaches midnight and your toddler(s) just won't stay sleeping that it was a good day.

Laundry is in because we really need the clean princess underwear.  All 5 pair.  Sissy only went through 2 pair all day and this was day 1 of princess underwear wearing.  Bug, well, she wore 3 pair.  Today we put both the girls in simple play dresses and real underwear and played outside from breakfast to nap and then again until dinner.  We started by coming into the house every half hour, but after our nap we lengthened it to every 45 minutes.  Our only accident was before lunch.  After lunch Squirrel took her in and she used the "big girl potty" which was huge for us!

While outside we rode our bicycles... I give it one more day and Sissy will be riding hers.  Right now she is getting the pedaling a little bit, and is so close to figuring it out.  Bug needs a few more inches until she can make her full pedal.  We also played a little ball and did a some chalk drawing.  The girls were a little surprised when we pulled out a bed sheet and had a picnic of tacos for lunch.

Naps went without issue as well as our baths later.  Dinner of chicken, potatoes, carrots, peas, and raspberry sherbet was a hit.  See, great day.

After our baths the girls' sister's foster mom texted to come by.  They came to visit.  Unfortunately she is terrified of dogs and ours were really interested in meeting her.  It was great seeing the 3 girls play together and see what Bug and Sissy showed off.  I never expected that they would show off their toothbrushes.  You wouldn't expect that you would get most of your information from another caregiver and not the system or the agency.  Her girl had a visit with her biofather and it looks like she will be moved to his family.  Our girls have not been as lucky/unlucky to have any other family visits this week.  They have now been with us for 3 weeks and have had 1 visit.  To put this in perspective - they are to have as many as 3/week with their parent(s) and 1/month with sibling(s).  If/when their sister goes to her father's family they will no longer be required to have a monthly visit.  Imagine, 2 and 3 years old and all you have are the strangers you have been dumped with.  Apparently mom is not to be found this week.  For the sake of the girls I don't know which way I hope, that she gets her stuff together, or that she walks away.  She has court this week so I guess we might learn more.

Two Choices

Nothing like peeking in a room early in the morning and not seeing a kid in their bed.  After a quick once through the house and not finding her anywhere it was a relief to spot her sleeping under her bed.

We keep learning about these two daily.  Trying to figure out their insecurities and their likes.  

Checking out "Bambi"

Our last weekday off together for some time we all went to the Children's Zoo.  Not a crazy large zoo, but large enough to test our attention. Out of the kangaroos, otters, cows and goats; the goats were our favorite.  Bug plopped herself right down in front of her face and just stared at her.  And then petted her confidently enough to pet her beard.    Timing for us was perfect.  We arrived around 10, walked for an hour and a half and then pretty much threw food at them so they didn't freak out and then walked around for another hour.  

Have I mentioned these kids are food driven?  Sissy almost crashed a birthday party at the zoo.  She walked right up and muscled her way to second in line for cake and chips before Squirrel could catch her.  

Most of our behavior at the zoo was good.  We did have an issue trying to pull them both off the carousel after lunch.

Waiting for our carousel ride.

Riding the Carousel like a couple of pros.

After our zoo trip we stopped at Squirrel's work to say hello to everyone.  We lasted 15 minutes and then the manic started to set in.  Between the zoo and work the duo fell asleep, but we braved waking them up.  

When we got home we saw a police officer talking with a neighbor.  We learned what Sissy's exposure was.  Her comment was that the police officer would kill her.  Every opportunity we have we are going to have to say hello to officers.

That afternoon Sissy failed to nap, Bug did, but only after a lot of fussing.  Sissy's failed nap meant a evening full of manic episodes.  It is so hard working with her.  She is only 3 so you want to be all soft and kind, but she runs all over you.  We have a method of offering 2 choices, one is ideal and the other is typically full removal from the situation.  We are kind when the situation is good or deserves praise, but when things go wrong we just need to disconnect.  After dinner we played outside for a bit.  Sissy was given several warnings to calm down around some of the little ones.  She didn't listen and knew she had choices.  Sissy didn't even argue when I said she needed to go in the house with me.  Upon getting home she screamed and struggled that her sister was outside and she was inside, but she adjusted and took her bubble bath.  

With the lack of nap Sissy slept easily.  Hopefully we can sleep until 8 this time!

Shut Up!

Shut Up!

I don't even know what we were doing at that time when Sissy said that to me with venom in her little voice.  Talking perhaps and not paying as much attention to her as she would like?  The minute she said it she recoiled in fear as I pulled her blocks from her.  I picked her up in my arms and let her know that we don't talk this way here and asked her if someone said that to her a lot.  It was my assumption that it was an older sibling, but she said it was "daddy" and muttered something about hitting.  We have a lot of difficulty understanding them with their lisp on new words that we haven't heard before so off went the TV and we all seemed very quiet.

I asked Sissy gently if she was hit.  She nodded sheepishly and frightened.  I asked who. She barely answered "daddy".  I use it in quotes as we don't really know who this is.  I asked where. She said on her back and it hurts.  She was talking so quietly like she knew this was something that was told not to share.  And she cried, and I held her.

We have struggled with Sissy so much over the past three weeks.  Such a defiant and defensive little girl.  Her little walls just crumbled.  It was like she let us in.

Squirrel and I promised her that she is safe here.  That we will never hurt her.  We will never hit her.  She sat with us a bit and then wanted to play.

They say that you may have a child for some time before you really know what has happened in their lives.  I guess we will find out more as we go.

Another item we learned today, and we suspected, is that our dynamic duo's seven year old sister wants to see them more, but has no interest in seeing their mother (who by the way we have only seen once in the past three weeks).  This weekend looks fairly open so we will have to get together.  She is living in town so it should be easy.  We also really like her foster mom and I think we could become good friends in this journey.  She is a veteran foster parent and just seems like an anchor in the storm.  When we did have our one family visit with biomom she paid so much attention to our wee Bug and barely any to Big Sister.

Bug may have given a neighbor of ours a new nickname.  He is a super sweet guy and has given the kids books and baseball equipment (Sissy is becoming quite the slugger).  Well, he was outside and all the sudden Bug starts chirping "Boobies" and we look out and he is outside and shirtless as usual.  We have either embarrassed the fellow enough that he will now find a shirt to come outside, or his nickname is "Boobies".

Now as the duo is asleep we are finally going to watch some adult TV... I think the last time we did so was at least a week ago.

Wednesday Fun

We continue to be amazed at what a difference just 19 days can make in the lives, mood, behavior, and most importantly: happiness; of these two tiny people that we have come to love.

We knew that routine and boundaries/rules are important to a child. But WOW... its like they are almost two different children. Today when I asked "who is ready to go outside and play?" Bug, immediately (WITHOUT being asked or mentioned) started cleaning up the toys and placing them back on the toy shelves. (one of our rules is that we pick up a few times throughout the day - one of those times is before we go outside to play; along with before our meals and before our bubble bath. We all help (and I pick up constantly) so it only takes a few minutes. But already it is routine even for a 2 year old.  Pretty much every day we stick to the same routine (until school flips it a bit) and here it is... Up around 7:00/7:30, breakfast, some inside play, TV if they are in the mood, (about now Squirrel has a cup of coffee in her belly so we can start), dress in day clothes, outside play for a while, somewhere in there a snack usually happens, like some grapes and cheese, Lunch around noon, then some play while lunch dishes are cleaned and washed, followed by bed for quiet 'read' time. (the girls each are put in bed to read) which they actually do... and then about 10 minutes later.. they are out. After nap we get an apple snack. Sissy wakes up SO GRUMPY that we thought perhaps it was a sugar level issue. Yes, the apple does help. more outside play, Rabbit gets home from work and then we... blah blah blah.. sorry - didn't mean to veer off on that tangent.

Like I was saying Routine has really settled these two down. We tell them often that we will always love them, put lots of food in their bellies, and keep them safe.

few closing tid bits...

 Bug again told me today "I Poopy". She just may be the first one potty trained as Sissy so far wont even mention it and is content to just be poopy.

Today while playing outside, Bug was jumping as high as she could to try to catch an airplane. It was SO stinking CUTE that Squirrel almost went blind from cuteness overload!

Sissy is turning into a great baseball player! For a wee one, she sure can smack that ball. she hits tons of homers.. and laughs as Squirrel has to chase them down. We are going to look for a T ball league so she can play with other kiddos. I think she would really enjoy that. Right now we are pitching to her.

Both girls voluntarily brushed their teeth again today.

We had to do some errands after Rabbit got home from work so we packed the girls up and took them to a dear friend who is having a garage sale and let us "pre-shop".  Our friends are amazing and it is overwhelming the support we have gotten.  We really have no needs as those have been filled with everyone's love and we are now taking in more than we thought we would.  We still appreciate all the kindness and gifts, but we will never be able to repay all of your love.

Part of our errands was the grocery store.  Food really may be an issue deeply rooted in these girls.  Sissy asked to walk today, but she is definitely riding in the cart next time.  Bug flipped out when food was put in the cart and she didn't get to eat it immediately.  We wanted to give them some, but we aren't going to be those parents that let their kids go through the grocery store thinking they can eat all things.  We may be able to instill some order in their lives, but we may be challenged to give them food security.

There is so much more, but its late and time for sleep.

.... Everyday is an adventure with these two.. which is odd because its all so routine. ha ha

Squirrel think she just lost tonights entire post.. GRRRRR! Rabbits sleeping, cant help.

Doctor Done.

I never thought that the expectation that is given to foster parents to be the child's advocate would be a necessary trait when dealing with agencies that are designed to support the children.

Round 2 of attempting to go to the Doctor (or as Sissy says "Docunh")

We get there 10 minutes early with all our paperwork in hand, including a letter from DHS (Department of Human Services) that states that if the insurance is not in the system that they will be good for the payment.  Surprise!  The letter isn't worth the paper it is written on.  Things go on and on for nearly an hour and then we are going to be able to get 1 of 2 seen.  I call our DHS liason and leave a very frustrated message.  She then calls back and asks me to give my phone to someone at the clinic... okay, these people are busy.  This is a public assistance clinic afterall.  This isn't suburbia with its nice waiting rooms with a few things to keep toddlers occupied.  This is 50 chairs in a room with 3 lines of people checking in.  So I give her a number to the clinic and she calls them.  Luckily there is someone there that is able to understand our predicament and we get to go in!

We have 2 toddlers that we have been wrangling for an hour at this point.  There is no way they are going to behave.  We barely get our height and weight taken.  I pretty much had to hold Bug to the wall to get her height.  On to our exam room.  They don't want to cooperate with anything.

As we are doing our visit we have a lot of paperwork for day care and for our foster care.  They are asking us questions and we are like "I don't know" and they think we are crazy.  On one question I asked Sissy "Does mommy smoke" and "Does grandma smoke" and luckily she cooperates on that.  I think only one person truly understood that we have had these children for less than 3 weeks.  We know as much about their medical history as they do.

Bug needs 5 shots at this visit and luckily 3 of them are able to be combined to 1.  She is a trooper, but it did take 2 to hold her down.  Sissy was just awful about cooperating and I finally just had to let her sit in a chair and have her meltdown and ignore her.  In the end we did get our paperwork done (hopefully the day care doesn't mind sloppy work as the Dr. was not very thorough) and we got our clear of lice letter!

Now we get to do all this again in September for Bugs 30 month checkup.

After the Dr. visit we had to hurry home and nearly throw food at the kids.  They were turning into ugly monsters.  Sissy downed 2 tacos and Bug happily mushed through her burrito and beans and beans and beans.  They both also tore up some tomatoes.  I was then off to work and Squirrel was home for the afternoon.  Fortunately the Dr. visit also tired them out as they were asleep soon for a 2+ hour nap.

We have been sacrificing a lot of our own time to care for the duo so tonight I convinced Squirrel to go to the training run and I would take the kids to the park.  I love the fenced in park.  It gives the kids the freedom to run and play and I don't have to worry as much.  We were good until we got a little hungry, but then Squirrel came and we were able to head home for some hot dogs.

Our challenge today was with Sissy and how she is becoming demanding.  We aren't standing for it and it is creating some friction, but we can't have a three year old demanding you make her a snack right now.  We handle a lot of this with "You have 2 options" and we let her play or nap.  For some reason she always chooses play.

After dinner we did our bubble bath with no major issues and then a little bit of TV and hair brushing and then off to bed, again no issues.  Our real issues today was the Dr., but then again most things that we have to do with adults create issues.

I've thought of several reasons that dogs like to have toddlers:
1. Mac n cheese
2. Bread
3. Jello
4. Beans
5. Chips
6. Milk
7. Crackers
8. Apples

singing in the rain

Today was a good day...
--We played outside in the yard and actually minded the boundary rule of Stay in Our Yard. We still tested the limits a wee bit; but only as far as any toddler would.
--Sissy actually sat on her potty chair without any persuasion, Squirrel asked, and she jumped right on; She even requested her new library book "Princess goes Potty".
-- A real 'Milestone' event was when the Dynamic Duo became angry at Squirrel.. for the first time.. instead of crying for parental units Squirrel heard one (cant remember which),  say in a angry voice "I wish Rabbit was home".  That is progress. We seem to take turns with the 'good cop/ bad cop' routine.
-- We enjoyed a guest for our lunch when Squirrels Mom came and ate and visited us for a while. The Duo behaved quite well for a bit. Attention from new people tends to make them a little extra frantic, and reminders 'to be gentle' had to be given a few times. They both were quite excited when Squirrel told them that she was coming for a visit.
-- Sissy is getting SO GOOD about letting us take care of her hair.  Good thing because we have our Doctor apts tomorrow and we need that paper to say bug free so we can start School and Squirrel can go back to work.

We usually take a walk after supper, Each kiddo gets a dog to walk, and sometimes we walk quite far (six or so blocks). Tonight a gentle rain was falling. So we handed each pair of hands their own umbrella to carry. (apparently it was JUST LIKE ANNA and ELSIA!). The Duo got such a kick out of our rainy walk and getting to carry their own umbrellas. The ear to ear smiles was priceless. We are going to find kiddo size umbrellas soon. Little is so little that her full size umbrella looked like it was floating down the sidewalk. I couldn't see any kiddo from behind.. just this magic umbrella meandering down the sidewalk.

Another dinner hit when we served Tacos, Refried beans, and rice. We are starting to limit the amount of food when Sissy just keeps wanting more and more. (We are NOT under feeding her by any means). We didn't for a while because, we wanted her to know that there will always be enough food. But she actually eats as much as an adult and is still asking for more.

The days frustration came when we were told that the parental visit would be in two hours. Really, that's pretty short notice for us. We said we had no way transporting them. The visit didn't end up happening. I thought it was our transportation issue that prompted the call that the visit was cancelled, but Mom may have cancelled.

Even the pets are making progress. choosing to lay next to, playing fetch, and we even have some kitty lovin going on from one cat.. The other still chooses to hide and glare at Rabbit and Squirrel with a "What have you brought into this house?" type of look. Time is passing, Time is helping.

Princess Potty and the Little Blue Truck

The rain this morning made us change our adventure plans.  We had planned to take the girls to a pancake breakfast and fly-in.  They love "airplaneys" and point them out overhead.  We quickly improvised and looked up information about the local children's museum.  The cost for the 4 of us would have been $25, and a year pass is $75.  We opted for the pass.  Now every weekend when it rains you will know where to find us.  The pass is pretty awesome as it is good for all sorts of museums in the state, and out of state!

The kids behaved well at the museum.  There was so much to keep them busy, and much to our surprise there were things they didn't even look at (like the blocks to build a bridge).  Sissy's favorite was the pizza parlor (where she was the only child playing) and Bug enjoyed the wee ones area (and the bubble popper push toy).  Bug loved the areas with a small ramp from room to room and would run up and down them over and over again.  There are so many places in the building they didn't explore so they won't be bored there for a long time.  Sissy later found a Wonder Woman costume in the theatre and put that on... when it came time to take it off and we were refusing we knew it was time to go home.  I'm just impressed she chose Wonder Woman!

Bug doing a little grocery shopping at the museum.

Home was a quick snack followed by naps and reading the Little Blue Truck.  Sissy fell asleep first (like always) and it wasn't until Bug fell asleep reading the Little Blue Truck that I tried to do some combing of the hair.  Success!  I was able to carefully comb Bug and then started on Sissy.  It is getting much better for both.  Sissy isn't scratching nearly as much so her wounds are healing.  I was almost able to trim her hair in back (where the wounds are) but I was late in her nap so she started to stir.  Why is it that as soon as the scissors makes its quiet sound the kid's ears work, but when the dogs bark like crazy they sleep.  When she woke she continued to let me comb her hair.  We use school as our reason.  This poor kid would do anything to go to school.

And then we read the Little Blue Truck

After our naps it was already time for dinner.  We had our typical pre-meal meltdowns but as soon as food hits the table they are good.  Today for breakfast we took Sissy's food away before she was completely done as we have warned her many times to keep her hands above the table and not pet the dogs at dinner.  It worked!  At dinner our behavior was much better.

And then we read the Little Blue Truck

We don't like to go outside after dinner because we usually act out when it is time to come inside.  Today we decided to walk the dogs.  They did very well.  Today Sissy was able to walk ahead with Squirrel and Bug did not freak out.  We also met a neighbor girl who wanted to pet the dogs.  The girls were unsure of this chatty thing coming their way, but they did fine.  On our walk Sissy told Squirrel she likes our house because it has food.

We didn't fuss too much when time to go in as they were actually excited about a bubble bath.  The girls had a little contest to see who could get undressed the fastest.  Bug won.  Sissy was warned that if she pooped in the tub she is going to have to clean it.  I'm not thinking I can hold to that, but if it keeps her from pooping in the tub, I'll use it.  I also got Sissy to put her own shampoo on her hair.  She didn't like it too much when I helped and really scrubbed her head, but I think she will be good by the end of the week.  Bug tried to escape when I went to wash her hair so I surprised her by standing right in the tub.  I feel like such a bath bully, but we will get these kids cleaned up.

And then we read the Little Blue Truck

Now we are reading our potty books from the library... that is our next challenge.  Potty training.  If we can just get Sissy to potty train we will be set as Bug will follow right along.

Weekend Adventures Begin

Every food we feed the girls is an experiment... there is no telling what their reaction will be.  this morning we tried some vegetarian breakfast "sausages" as well as English muffins with their eggs.  Success!  It isn't that we don't want to feed them real sausage, it was just what we happened to have in the freezer.  Eventually we will have all our groceries cycled through to foods for them, but right now we have to feed them the things we would have normally eaten.

After breakfast we did hair and then went on our adventure.  We call new things for the girls adventures so they have no ability to decline to try something new.  We packed up and went to see Elsa and Anna from "Frozen".  It had mixed results.  The line wasn't too long, but neither is the patience of the girls.  We let them wander a bit in the pavilion and they did okay.  At one point though Bug decided that she was done wearing pants and started stripping!  That is a new one for us.  We got all the way to the front of the line and then Bug didn't want to go see them.  Sissy did go up and get hugs and autographs (of which she has almost completely eaten).  We told the girls we would get their picture and put it in their room for them as well as give them a copy to give their mom, but they didn't stand for a picture.... This is the only one I managed to snap.

Don't fret, we have taken away this outfit that Sissy so dearly loves, but is giving her a wedgie and are giving it back to the foster closet.  It also is a one piece and has the most difficult buttons possible so it is terrible for toilet training.

After our adventure we came home to our favorite meal of hot dogs and beans.  We had a afternoon of playing in the house because it was wet outside.  At one point Bug was upset with Squirrel because she would not let her climb the dog gate which she also could not crawl through the cat door (now zip tied closed) so she tried to slam the door between the kitchen and living room which frustrated her terribly because we placed an anti-slam foam on the door.  The kid-proofing of the house is driving her crazy.  She is also not pleased with the refrigerator latch.   I have more evil plans for proofing in the works.

This afternoon our dear friend who found Bug a bike also found the girls a toy kitchen!  We are calling her our personal shopper at garage sales.  It was a wonderful find and it even has a light, microwave with sounds, and burner with lights.  We played with it a bit and we fought over it a bit.  After one of our major fights Sissy gave up and laid down and was out... even with poking and the dogs barking she slept right through dinner.  Dinner was a hit.  BBQ Pork, mac n cheese, potatoes, baked beans, green beans, and bread.  Bug loves her beans and Sissy loves her carbs.  Sissy ate after her long nap.  At that time Bug decided she needed to eat as well so she was distracted by a bubble bath.

During the kitchen fight, Squirrel was off shopping... she can't help it.  She gets sent for bleach, creamer and diapers and returns home with bleach, creamer, diapers and toys.

We now don't fight our baths, but we did fight our hair washing.  I feel like such a bully, but we managed to each fight a kid and wash their hair.  Bug fell asleep right after her bath and Sissy... still up, but we will be crashing soon.

Tomorrow's adventure awaits.  Both the adventure we are taking the girls on in the morning and the adventure of loving these two without losing our minds.

We are now laughing at a toddler that just rolled off the loveseat (with pillows that fell first so she had a soft landing) who has informed us she can no longer walk.  She says she is hurt, but it is just her pride and she is tired.  Time to tuck Sissy into bed.

Wonderful Day!

Last night was terrible so we weren't expecting much.  We were up every 2 hours or so chasing children out of the refrigerator.

This morning Bug was up before Squirrel and went downstairs and was quietly playing with her tea set and the paper from her new Frozen underwear (the packaging is liked more than the underwear).  There were very few moments where the girls were directly defiant today.  One was Sissy standing on a kid's chair (which is now in the basement) and the other was going in areas of the library that we asked them not to.   

The morning was so smooth that Squirrel even texted me at work that they were in no hurry for me to come home!  I hope that next week goes this well when there are days that I should work the full day.  One unique thing that happened this morning is that Sissy cleaned up all the toys before asked.  She is learning that we praise for the good behavior.  We have started to withdraw from bad behavior so that helps.  Early on with the girls we responded to nearly everything so that they knew we were always there, but now we are very stern when there is attention seeking bad behavior if we address it at all. 

After lunch of fish sticks, rice (by request), and peas we all headed to the library.  We did very well at the library and our favorite things were the puzzles.  Bug was intrigued by the other little ones and Sissy was a bit possessive of a block puzzle (she did "help" some big kids do it a few times), but we kept our voices reasonable and had some self control.  A week ago we probably would have completely cleared the shelves, but today we picked up one book at a time.  At the end of our visit we knew it was done when Sissy started grabbing book after book.  We also had timed the library right before nap time.

Arriving home we served our afternoon snack and Sissy was out almost instantly.  Bug stayed awake and we gave her some more blocks.  These two love blocks.  After Sissy's nap we again played nicely so we decided to try another outing and go out for Mexican.  On our way to the restaurant we took a detour through a parking lot that the kids always remark about (for some reason they love this particular lot) and by the time we reached the restaurant (which is only a mile from home) Bug was sound asleep.  Throughout the entire meal during which she slept on my lap I jostled her, poked her, tried to gently wake her, but she slept on.  Sissy ate very well and loves tomatoes, sour cream, and did well with her rice.  She would not try the guacamole.  At the end of the meal we knew we had to go as Sissy was getting a bit antsy.  Bug woke up as we walked out.  It was Art Walk downtown and as we were driving we noticed a group of drummers so we circled back and parked.  We walked down and the kids loved watching them.  Earlier today Squirrel had them drumming on coasters (so they would quit hitting furniture) and we really need to get them some hand drums.  We did a short walk downtown and then we decided to brave a store.

We needed some childproofing items so we headed to the hardware store.  They rode in the carts  without issue.  We got our items and we even bought some flowers.  The only worries were when Bug could not see Sissy she was very anxious.

Bug ate all of Sissy's leftovers, and this kid loves beans.  We had no arguments about getting in the bath.  We did however poop in the tub again.  Sissy has now been told that next time she gets to clean it herself and she doesn't seem to like that idea so hopefully it stops.  Hair combing went wonderful and bed was better than usual.  This is the first night that the whole day feels what we would expect of toddlers.  Yes, we did climb in the fridge, but I did put a child latch on it after bed tonight.

We now have 2 happy kids.  No major angry toddler tales from Bug today and a lot less boundary testing from Sissy.  Hopefully we continue to be this way this weekend as we would love to take them to see the Frozen characters tomorrow and to a fly-in pancake breakfast on Sunday.

Maybe the difference today is that we also didn't have to take them to any appointments with strange adults?

We have started singing songs in the car as a group. Today it was 'Old MacDonald'. I don't think the girls had heard this one before as they didn't join in the singing fun. After we went through a few different animals, we quit singing in the front seat and the little voices in the backseat piece mailing this song back together as best they could, in those little voices was just TOO CUTE!   We have decided that in addition to the Dynamic Duo taking over our Netflix account; We should also (gulp).. find a kiddo music CD for the car rides. I know kids learn through song.. but the other cars at the red lights may just wonder why Squirrel is banging her head against the glass.

The girls are truly becoming happy giggling singing toddlers... and its wonderful.

Meeting big sister

I have been threatened that I am never ever allowed to say yes to two kids at the same time.  Squirrel is having a difficult time staying home with them as I go to work.  Sad part is that we wouldn't still need to stay home if all the adults just got their paperwork done right.  We were supposed to finish all the day care/school paperwork this afternoon and potentially start Monday.  Well, now we won't do that until next week and then I have a week of vacation after that so we won't be starting school for 2 weeks.  As soon as we start then there will be a week off as the school is closed.  *sigh*

Today I stretched my work day.  I slipped home at lunch to give Squirrel a short break and then dashed back to work for an hour.  After that we had another try at a family visit.  This time the girls' mom showed up.  It is very odd meeting the mom of your kids and knowing you have her kids because she did so poorly in her care of them.  She was brought by her mom.  Our visit was in a local park as our agency is now requiring a doctor's note from us and the mother's doctor that they are lice free before going back in the office.  Hopefully we can get that next week because I don't want to be at the doctor every week!

About meeting their mother.  First of all, who wears white when visiting your toddlers in the park?  I know I'm judging here, but I know how serious things have to be to have your children removed from your home.  Then I look at the grandmother and all I can think is that she was deemed unsuitable as a caregiver for the children, otherwise we wouldn't have them.  We did introductions and then the kids were off and playing.  Oh, almost forgot, the visit included the girls' 7 year old sister "Big" as well.  It was absolutely wonderful meeting Ms. L, her foster parent.  Watching the three of them play was hard.  You could see how "Big" was not really noticed by her mother.  She started by craving her attention, but within 15 minutes she was on her own.  The grandmother just sat on the side and seemed to ignore the whole thing.  I don't believe she ever addressed the kids by name.  Her main concern seemed to be that she had to drive them to the visit.  That and she asked me if we toilet trained the kids yet?  Seriously?  You are the grandmother, what was so wrong with you trying to toilet train them.

The kids played recklessly on the equipment as they always do.  It seemed as mom had never supervised them on a park before.  I felt so sorry for Big as she was so alone.  Big and Sissy bonded pretty well as their mother seemed to really concentrate on Bug.

Big's foster parent Ms. L is wonderful.  We exchanged numbers so that the girls get an opportunity to play more.  She has been fostering for years and seems to have a wealth of experience.

When our visit was over the girls were content hopping in the car with us.  There was not a tear shed between them about leaving their mother.  The girls didn't even seem to say goodbye to their grandmother.

After the visit the girls immediately napped when we got home.  Our visit was at nap time so they were very tired.  A four o'clock nap is not a good idea.  They slept until nearly 7 which now is making bedtime a screaming match.    

About that toilet training... we bought princess underwear today.  Sissy wore some for a few minutes before her bath (only because she was told that most kids in school do) and Bug was interested in them, but didn't try them on.  We did let her run bare in the house for a few minutes and she peed herself in the kitchen and declared herself "yucky" and needed her new sandals off immediately since she peed on them.  She was also very easy to convince at that time that it was bath time.  Sissy doesn't seem to be too phased about being dirty... she stuck her own hand in her poo today and then wanted to touch Squirrel (before washing).  I wouldn't be surprised if the 2 year old is trained before the 3 1/2 year old.

Bath time - no arguments... at least we are winning there.

Wait!  It is quiet... The 2 1/2 hours of screaming is over!  This is a more difficult night than most.

I'm tired of cooking

We know how well the system is working for our dynamic duo.  If it wasn't for the frustrations with the adults we work with (or should be working with) I think it all would be really good. 

Routine is pretty established at home.  We have meals without any issue.  Bubble baths are pretty good, we just are typical toddlers that don't like our heads wet.

After our failed adventure to the Doctor we were not ready to venture to any more public places where we had to attempt to control our little toddler bodies.  After our lunch we were invited over to play in the water with the neighbors.  We went, not because the dynamic duo needed to go, but because we needed some adult time.  Sissy didn't want to put her swimsuit on, but wasn't given an option.  When playing it was hard for Sissy because she was the biggest of all the kids.  Eventually we both ended up in the water. 

Water play time ended right in time for pre-nap meltdowns.  Napping was not an option and we have learned that the girls are pretty good in doing what we expect them to if we are extremely clear.  Two hours of quiet which were followed by extreme crankiness.  For some reason whenever Sissy wakes up she is a fright.

Before dinner Squirrel ran out to the store and while she was out I introduced the girls to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOcx4447zjM

We had a real breakthrough with potential potty training.  I told Sissy that if she pees in the potty chair we will get her princess underwear.  She right away wanted to sit down and try.  Other noticeable growth is that we are allowed to look at and help clean her boo boos.  This evening we put a warm rag on the back of her head to help and when she was done with that she was taking the rag and "washing" her blocks.  Granted, maybe she shouldn't be washing her blocks with the rag she had on her wounds, but we have established a groundwork of keeping things a bit tidy.  We will just have to rewash the blocks later. 

Tomorrow is our next family visit.  Lets see if this week will be all failed appointments.  This is already set for some failure as it is exactly at the time we have established as our nap time at home. 

Other thought I had today was that some days I would just like to cheat with cooking.  Maybe I could sneak food in and then pass it off to the kids that I made it huh?  Sissy is always asking for fast food and we just tell her that we eat at home and she has been okay with it.  We don't serve extra sugar, chips, or soda at our house (until they go to bed).  Last night on my way home I did get a Pepsi and left it in my car... Squirrel even snuck out for some.  It is now hiding in my closet.

Failed again

Quick midday update:

Doctor appointment was a fail.  We were turned away by the clinic because one child was listed as not having insurance and both had not had their physician changed by DHS. 

DHS says they changed things and they don't understand why one child has cancelled insurance.

The clinic told DHS that we didn't make an appointment.

Appointment was made.  They even called to confirm them.  We were there on time and even early.  We now have a whole week before our next appointment.

I don't think the DHS Liaison was pleased with my attitude when I called her.

Score:

Successful appointments in the system - 0
Failed attempts - 3

Hot Dogs and Baked Beans

It is only 3:30 and we have already had a tough day.  Squirrel is losing sanity and needs to get back to work soon.  Sometimes I think our house becomes toddler hell.  Not right now though, as I have both of them sacked on the sofa.  We have until 5 for some quiet.  It has been just over a week, but we recognize what is coming and I could see the meltdown before it appeared and turned everything off in the house, put all the toys up, took away the sippy cup, and just put them on the sofa.  Within 5 they are out.

We have a favorite book, Sissy requests it every evening.  It is Dr. Seuss, My Many Colored Days.  I ask her what color she is during the day and she is able to tell me.  We are able to start talking about feelings.  Most of the time she says she is Orange and that about describes it... a bit excited, lots of movement.  She says that Bug is Blue and flying free.  I see the meltdowns coming when we jump from color to color, a manic phase, and then when she starts being grabby at everything it is all over. 

The tough part of the day was trying to go to our first family visit.  They had already given Squirrel a run for her money so I was home a few minutes earlier than planned.  I sat down with Sissy where Bug could watch and we talked very seriously (as much as you can with a 3 year old) and let her know that we had an "appointment" to go to an office to try to see Mommy.  After our appointment we would come back home and have hot dogs and beans.  Mommy had things to work on before they would be able to live with her again so she had to live safely with us.  What Sissy took away from the conversation.  "We are having beans"

Amazing.  We are so nonchalant about seeing Mommy, but we cry out for her every time there is a reason to cry. 

We went to our appointment (a tiny bit late as we rescued the neighbors' dog) and to our surprise, but not to our surprise... Mommy was a no-show.  She actually called late into our visit time stating that she couldn't get a ride.  This is where I rage inside on behalf of the girls.  How do you have your babies taken away from you to live with some complete strangers in a house that you have no clue about and you don't even bother to show up to see them?  These babies have not seen their Mommy in over a week.  We are supposed to have visits 3 times a week.  It took a full week for her to respond to the Girls' case worker and now a no-show.  We have another visit on Thursday.

To our relief we had the opportunity to visit the offices and check them out without the stress of seeing Mommy.  The girls enjoyed playing with all the toys.  Sissy was drawn to the dollhouse and of course the first thing Bug grabbed was a toy vacuum.  We also met Miss M who works there and when the girls are in "school" will be who transports them to and from their visit.  This will be great and allow us to maintain our work schedules and leave the flexibility for the court dates.  I guess another item on the bright side is that we didn't have to pull the girls from their Mommy and we don't have resurfacing feelings from a visit. 

They said in our foster class that you will have an idea how long the children will be with you by how the parent responds to visits.  I think we will be serving a lot of hot dogs and baked beans.

Managing expectations

Our first day working on our license for foster care we  learned that you can never have expectations as things will change rapidly.  Last night we prepped the kids for their Case Worker visit today.  We had them ready to show off their new room, their toy shelf, and where they sit for meals.  As you guessed it, we didn't have our visit.  Had I known that, I could have snuck a half-day of work in. 

As of this morning our agency had still not been able to get in contact with the birth family.  At 6:00 PM we received a text.  We have a family visit tomorrow at 11:30, and of course I was scheduled for a half day.  I guess it will be an early morning for me.  We haven't told the girls yet,  we are afraid we would never get them into bed.  All the girls would hear would be "see mommy" and not the part where they will be returning with us afterwards.  Sissy and I have discussed that a few times already, but she just doesn't seem to understand.

I was starting to wonder, how do you have your children taken from your home and not check up on them in over a week?  From what the CPS worker told us it isn't a complete surprise, but then again I had hope for them.  We will just wait and see how tomorrow goes, as I said earlier, I need to not have expectations. 

We had some company tonight and mixed reactions... the best behaved was when one of our guests sat down to dinner with us and not all the attention was on the girls.  Another set of guests was only here for a moment to pick up some things so naturally the girls wanted to run outside and we were trying to stay in right before dinner.

The girls have been with us for a whole week and today may have been the most difficult.  We had so many requests to leave.  It is mostly Sissy.  Bug is actually starting to develop her own reactions to things.  We repeat on a few things, but tonight in the bath is an example since Sissy was screaming because I was putting water on her head and Bug started laughing.  Bug also runs to a bubble bath while we practically have to drag Sissy.  Sissy eventually calms down in the tub, however tonight I didn't give her the time to and pulled her out when she swung at Bug.

Speaking of taking a swing.  Now that the girls are more comfortable here they have started hitting.  We address this immediately, but it is not something we saw the first few days. 

Off to bed for us, we didn't manage to let Sissy fall asleep on her own.  She is still wide awake, but maybe the 2 hour nap has something to do with that.  I hope tomorrow that we can write how wonderful the family visit goes, but I'm not sure that is how it will be.

Brave toddlers

We had to have the conversation with Sissy tonight.  The conversation about not seeing Mommy or Daddy and when we do it is only going to be for a little while and then she has to come back home with us.  I don't know how much she comprehends.  It is super hard to try to explain what isn't right at her Mommy's house and what is good at our house.  All we can do is explain that we will always give her bubble baths, keep her belly full, take her to school, and love her.  How do you logic these heavy issues that adults can barely handle with a three year old.  Throughout the week we have had small pieces of this, but today it was unavoidable.  Every day we have to explain that this is their house.  Someday we may have to explain to them that they will be moving out.  The kids never win in this situation.

Today we moved some things around to help the home feel more permanent to them.  The shelf from the girls' room was brought down to the living room to be their "toy shelf" and extra items from their room were removed.  We got our "new" bikes and helmets out today.  Our routine is also becoming more set.  All of the kid clothes have been put away in their wardrobe.  All the items too big or too small have been tucked away for another day.  This morning before the kids were even out of their pajamas I spied them sitting in front of their wardrobe putting on their shoes.  They love their shoes.  It is hard as a foster parent to be really prepared as you don't know who will be coming to live with you.  Had we accepted the case right before the girls we would be redecorating in teen boy stuff rather than looking for Tinkerbell items.

Bug is adjusting much better than Sissy, but she is a year younger.  When she first arrived she would start in on an angry muttering "story" several times a day.  Now we only see the "story" once a day and it has only been a week.  Today Bug didn't yell "Dammit" so it is a win.  She has much more smiles and joy every day.  Bug is a naturally happy child and that hasn't been taken from her.  I really wish that Sissy didn't have the wounds to her little heart.  She wants so desperately to be loved.  We also have to be incredibly careful when correcting her.  The smallest thing can send her into an upset mood needing a lot of reassurance and love.

This is all so challenging.  It is so much easier to love a happy child.  Sissy takes so much energy from you.  She doesn't mean to, but she craves the attention and has such a much more troubled mind.  We now make sure that every time we give a bit of attention to Bug we do the same for Sissy.

It is also getting easier as the kids self-play more.  The need for reassurance is subsiding.  We are also not having to chase to the refrigerator every two minutes.  We do however need to get a refrigerator latch and some cabinet latches very soon.

Tomorrow our case worker comes to visit, and we have been gently prepping the girls.  Wednesday is our Dr. visit and we have already been prepping for that.  The beauty of the Dr. visit is that we understand that it has to be done before we can go to school and they just adored school the other night.

In the end all we can do is tuck them in, tell them we love them and tell them how smart, talented, strong and brave they are.

Discovering what works

Last night Squirrel discovered that we ran out of Pull-ups for Sissy which resulted moving back to a normal diaper which did not go over well.  We are moving in the right direction!  Odd thing is neither one of us recalls using the last pull-up and I recall last that there were a bunch in there.  Perhaps after we buy a new bag we will find the rest somewhere in the house.  Probably with a stash of apple cores.

How much Beef Stroganoff can one toddler eat?  I would like to enter my youngest in a few eating contests.  She is bottomless.  Last night we tried a very adult friendly meal and both girls ate adult size servings.  The real challenge was that I put dinner in the oven late.  I was about to have anarchy.  We were all but throwing snacks at the kids to satiate them before dinner was fully done.  We know when Bug is really hungry as she goes into the linen drawer in the kitchen and pulls a cloth napkin out for everyone and places it at their spot.  I try to hand her one item at a time to put at the table as to keep her busy until dinner is ready.  Never did I imagine I would have a 2 year old set the table.  We do however hold off with the plates as I load the kids' plates and stick them in the freezer for a speedy cool off.  They aren't patient enough to wait for things to cool.

I have begun to wonder if kids are like pets when it comes to food.  When we got Percy dog as a stray he ate anything and he continues to do so.   Wouldn't imagine that most dogs like lettuce.  The kids didn't have food in their home.  They aren't gaunt and looking malnourished and they are tall, but maybe that lack of easily accessible food has left them wanting it.  Sissy isn't as bad, but Bug wants all food and at the end of a meal when she wants to be done she puts all the food she can in her mouth at one time.  It is that she panics and needs all food.  We need to buy appliance straps for the refrigerator and stove.

Pee... everything is pee.  Last night was a pee puddle.  After our very fun bubble bath with our new ABC's we all went to get dressed.  We were working on getting Sissy dressed to turn around and see Bug standing there wiggling her toes in a puddle of pee. 

This morning we were nice and leisurely getting going when we realized we had 30 minutes to get out of the house.  With only breakfast done we managed to shower 2 adults and dress 2 wees, pack the diaper bag (including apples) and make it out the door. 

We have been calling things "adventures" so that there is not a lot of whining if they don't like the sound or don't understand where we are going.  Today's adventure was to Relay for Life where I was playing in the band.  The girls hated it.  Before the band even started Squirrel was off to the playground with them.  At least it was an amazing playground.  After we were done there we headed to a potluck with the band.  We were very unsure how this would go over because of the crowd, but these two were champs.  Perhaps it was because there was an endless supply of food!

After the meal we drove home (slowly) with a quick stop to grab two bike helmets.  Only moments from home we still had Sissy awake, but there was a detour (gas main exploded and had a huge fire) and in that extra clip of time we had success.  We even managed to carry them both to the couch without waking them.  Sissy is so long that we don't like to carry her up the stairs too much.  In another few months we may not be able to carry her at all.  An hour nap for Bug, 2 for Sissy, and a 1/2 hour for Squirrel.  A dynamic duo nap is rare.  Typically we only get one down at a time.  I think being able to do this after only a week is pretty good.

Squirrel's mom came over for dinner tonight.  What is great is that she understands our willingness to accept gifts, but we don't always reveal them to the duo.  Some days are just too overwhelming so we tuck things away for another day.  Speaking of gifts we had a very pleasant surprise from a neighbor.  He is a bachelor, in his 50s, and he saw a defiant minute when I asked Sissy to try on a bike helmet.  After that he mentioned to the other neighbor how she even told him a thing or two when he encouraged her to try it on and that neighbor explained how the girls had just arrived this week and would be staying with us.  Mr. Bachelor then went home and came to us later with two books for the girls.  Would you believe it that one of them was a copy of a favorite book of mine as a child.  The girls even allowed that to be our bedtime book tonight.  Reading the stories, and then flipping through the pages (as a 2 year old always thinks the story needs to go faster) was like saying hello to an old friend.

After dinner we went straight to a bubble bath.  For the first time ever we had both with no disagreements!  Bug started stripping as she went up the stairs.  For the first time we also were able to close the shower doors.  We encourage splashing and playing and making it fun as we aren't sure how often they were ever able to bathe.  From the CPS worker we found that big sister (who is 7 and in another home) is thrilled that there is running water so these two may be still a bit mystified by it.

We follow bath time with a bit of movie time so that we can brush hair (we still haven't quite gotten through Sissy's wound area) and we need to really look for the nits (thank goodness they don't transfer to animals).  That we only got done with Sissy, but Bug won't be too much of an issue tomorrow. 

Major evening issue was when Sissy picked at her wound (or should I say wounds as she has picked her scalp open quite a bit) and really opened a big area.  We redirect her picking all the time and there is only so much you can do with a three year old.  The new blood terrified her.  I was able to get some "magic medicine" aka triple antibiotic on her wound and place a band aid.  Tomorrow I'm going to have to text our case manager and see if there would be an issue if we trimmed/shaved the bottom inch or two of hair at her hairline.  It looks as though someone already trimmed it down so maybe it won't be an issue.  

After the picking meltdown I redirected Sissy (again) and her frail little self took it as I was mad at her.  We cried and cried.  I held her and just had to tell her how much we love her and we aren't mad at her, we just want to take care of her and help her boo-boos go away.  These moments are also when she realizes that this isn't a sleep over and we trip into the I want mommy and I don't want to be here and then we have to talk about the good things that are here in our home.  That we will keep her safe, we will keep her belly full, we will take good care of her and Bug.  You really shouldn't have to reassure a 3 year old that she will be safe.

Other notables: Bug had a failed attempt at tail surfing today (scared her good).  Bug threw her sippy cup in the trash (was only a matter of time).  Bug spider-monkeyed up a tall slide one handed as she refused to surrender her apple.  Sissy answered correctly every time I asked if she was wet (even if I had to check because I didn't trust her). 

There is so much we can write about each day.   Hopefully tomorrow we aren't writing about any major bike crashes as we will probably get the second bike tomorrow.

The toddler lisp of the day:
"Big Stick" - somehow Sissy managed to toddler lisp that to "Big Dick"