We have gotten so busy with everything that blogging every day doesn't work... and much of our days are typical, normal.
This weekend we did celebrate Squirrel's birthday. Because of the girls we were unable to travel as we intended before they were placed with us. In order to do travel we are supposed to get permission from the bioparents and at this time it is unlikely we will be ever able to get that. On Saturday we opted for one of her favorite meals for lunch. Yes, we took two toddlers out for sushi. While they didn't eat a ton of sushi they did demolish the edamame and enjoyed the teriyaki chicken. We were especially impressed that they sat nicely and really tried hard to eat with their chopsticks. At one point we did get them forks, but neither of them opted to use them.
After lunch we went to the hobby store next door where we looked at the model airplanes and helicopters. We are working really hard at making these two nerds.
That evening was a birthday dinner with the neighbors and we enjoyed our cookout. The duo really adore the neighbors and their extended family.
Sunday - just think opposite of Saturday.
It was Squirrel's official birthday. On Saturday we had given Squirrel her birthday present (a glider chair) so the girls and I got up and went to get some birthday donuts. That gave Squirrel until 10 with some peace and quiet. The rest of the day was one giant meltdown. On Squirrel's big day we had hot dogs for lunch and frozen pizza for dinner. The only great thing we did that day was that I was able to go to Goodwill and Meijer during their nap. Goodwill was 50% off everything and I did some great school shopping and Meijer had an extra discount on their clearance toys. I think we may have Sissy's birthday presents (October) all purchased and much of our Christmas shopping done.
We didn't plan on the frozen pizza, we were actually going to go to the neighbor's again, but when their toddler was having a bad day and had to cancel it opened the door for us to take away the visit as we had threatened for the poor behavior. We aren't talking about a little issue here and there. It was literally a stomp on your face type of behavior (luckily I didn't get too bad of a fat lip). Bug was having issues so I was lying on the floor holding her (both of them seem to be secure in this position) and Sissy came roaring through and I had no time to react. It was her longest time out as she was not to move until she was able to apologize and it took her over 1/2 an hour to get to that point.
Monday
Bug screamed as we pulled up to "school" this is the first time she ever did this. I had to carry her in. After a few minutes we settled in. It was supposed to be a visit day, but of course, biomom did not call in. After school we all went to the neighbors' for dinner and the girls ate like the champs we brag them up to be. We did, however, have to take Bug's highchair over. Originally she tried to sit in a big chair but she looked so defeated.
Tuesday
Normal day off to school. Bio called in for her visit today. Then the B---- didn't show up. Our poor duo. This is the first time she pulled this where she is a call in but no show. Fortunately the girls love our transport worker so they spent the time telling her all about life at our house, what the weekend was like, and just general chatter. I tried to talk to Sissy a little about the missed visit in the evening, but she was not too phased. Her resiliency is fantastic. Why would someone call in about a visit at 8:30 in the morning and then not show at 11:30.
Well, we will see what happens... court date on Wednesday morning.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
Eight weeks
Life is pretty normal so not always a ton to write about.
On Wednesday Sissy started wearing underwear all day when we are awake. We are pretty excited to cut back on our diaper purchasing, but it is causing for a little extra laundry during the week.
Yesterday we had our 2 hour family visit. Since court was on Tuesday we had to make up the visit time even though bios skipped court. I really wish that the bios would take care of their lice issue so that the girls would not have to do all their visits outside in the park. Some of these days are super hot and there is no real shelter to play under so they are just baking our kids. They have started to bring snacks and drinks, but we are now having to deal with sugar hyped toddlers as they bring Kool-Aid and "Fruit" snacks. Our house is water and fruits and vegetables. *sigh*
After the family visit we decided to take the girls to a local event. It was a festival of sorts with craft areas, game areas, and gardens at a local historical home (giant facility). We did okay. The crowds weren't too scary. We actually sat and watched a magic show for a bit. This all pushed dinner back so by the time we ate (around 7) we were monsters.
Today marks 8 weeks. We did our typical Friday night Mexican, but added Squirrel's mom. The girls love having her around. After school and before dinner Sissy was having a "meltdown" for no apparent reason and declared to Squirrel that she needed to sit in the "calm down chair" and put herself in it and gathered her self. It is interesting how these simple things get absorbed. We don't put them in that chair very often, but when we do we are firm, but gentle. It is not a scolding, but a matter of fact we need you to gather yourself. There is no minimum and no maximum time and it works for both of them.
After dinner Bug was pretty tired and actually crashed early. Squirrel's mom was visiting and we got some nice time. Sissy was allowed to be a "big girl" and we got a game out (Stay Alive). Up to this point we have not understood games or taking turns. Tonight we caught on. It is amazing how we are picking up on a few things. Sissy also mastered her colors this week. Next week we will work on shapes. We are also going to keep working on chewing with your mouth closed for table manners. At school we have been learning some not so great habits so we are constantly working on extremely good habits at home. Sissy has also mastered how to ask politely for things without whining. This was for our sanity. Up to this point is was "I want ..." in a terrible whiny/demanding voice. We would redirect and say a complete sentence back and ask her to repeat (not always successful). "May I have some more milk please?" Just the other day she started to automatically use her polite sentences. This simple change is making incredible differences and especially at meals.
So, eight weeks in and the consistency is proving to work. There are many things that I was skeptical about that with a try prove to be fruitful. I would have never imagined that a calm down chair would really be used.
On Wednesday Sissy started wearing underwear all day when we are awake. We are pretty excited to cut back on our diaper purchasing, but it is causing for a little extra laundry during the week.
Yesterday we had our 2 hour family visit. Since court was on Tuesday we had to make up the visit time even though bios skipped court. I really wish that the bios would take care of their lice issue so that the girls would not have to do all their visits outside in the park. Some of these days are super hot and there is no real shelter to play under so they are just baking our kids. They have started to bring snacks and drinks, but we are now having to deal with sugar hyped toddlers as they bring Kool-Aid and "Fruit" snacks. Our house is water and fruits and vegetables. *sigh*
After the family visit we decided to take the girls to a local event. It was a festival of sorts with craft areas, game areas, and gardens at a local historical home (giant facility). We did okay. The crowds weren't too scary. We actually sat and watched a magic show for a bit. This all pushed dinner back so by the time we ate (around 7) we were monsters.
Today marks 8 weeks. We did our typical Friday night Mexican, but added Squirrel's mom. The girls love having her around. After school and before dinner Sissy was having a "meltdown" for no apparent reason and declared to Squirrel that she needed to sit in the "calm down chair" and put herself in it and gathered her self. It is interesting how these simple things get absorbed. We don't put them in that chair very often, but when we do we are firm, but gentle. It is not a scolding, but a matter of fact we need you to gather yourself. There is no minimum and no maximum time and it works for both of them.
 |
| When I began writing tonight I asked Sissy to go to bed. At the end I found her asleep here. Only feet from us at the bottom of the stairs. Poor girl refuses to admit she is tired and can fall asleep anywhere. |
So, eight weeks in and the consistency is proving to work. There are many things that I was skeptical about that with a try prove to be fruitful. I would have never imagined that a calm down chair would really be used.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Court date #2
Today revolved around one major activity for Squirrel and I. We went to our first court date for our kids. It wasn't that we had anything to do. We just feel like we need to directly know what is going on.
So... we get to the courthouse and we don't know what we are doing. We go to walk into the courtroom and a woman in a side room asks if we are the girls' foster parents. It is our new case worker! Yes, the woman who hasn't called me back since Thursday. She has the "oops, busted face" going on and has to do some pedaling quickly to come up with some answers. We chatted with her for quite some time and then who walks in but our legal liaison. Busted! He has not called back since Thursday either. Here we are with both of them so we were able to nail them down for some direct answers.
We had quite a bit of time with them as we waited before going into the court room. Why did we have time? Well, because biomom was a no show. Seriously? Who doesn't show to court when your children are removed from your home? Second no show for her... yet we have to make up today's missed visit on Thursday? That is messed up.
While we are waiting we got to throw a lot of requests at our case worker.
1. Speech therapy for both
2. FAS testing for Sissy
3. Suspended visits until biomom gets her lice taken care of
4. Visits not at the awful park
5. Regulated guests at visits (we had a crazy amount of people at a visit)
6. Play therapy for Sissy
Some of these requests were eagerly received by our caseworker, some not so much. She really balked at the FAS testing and the therapies. Really? I think these are some things that the girls really need. We can handle a not so great park and we can deal with having to do lice prevention all the time. These items will not harm the girls forever. If we don't tackle the speech issues that will continue. All the kids except the oldest of the 5 have the speech issues. The FAS isn't limited to Sissy. The caseworker for the oldest two believes that the 15 year old may also have FAS and is pushing for testing for him. We need the diagnosis for services. If we were to test and it comes back negative, great! If not we need to be ready to get the services that are needed.
What we were able to get at court... nothing. Since biomom did not show up there were no requests made of the judge.
What did happen: Their 7 year old sister was placed immediately with her biodad. A huge surprise to us. Last we knew he was not ready. It was not anticipated by her fostermom either otherwise we would have gotten together this weekend.
We also had a great conversation with the case worker for the girls' oldest two siblings. We now have contact info for their foster family so we can go visit them.
Having the 7 year old now placed with her biodad shifts the dynamics of the whole thing. A friend who used to be a reunification worker was talking with us this past weekend and was saying how they try to keep the unit together and as long as they were all in care that there would be reunification attempts. She also said that if any of the kids are not placed with the biomom that there is a higher likelihood that reunification won't happen. Who knows.
Really though, who has 5 kids taken away and doesn't bother to show up in court?
For us. Even though we have no results from the court visit for the girls our comfort level with the courtroom is there. We now know a little of what to expect. It is the little things, like the acoustics of the room that can throw you off. Showing up also shows all the workers around the case that we are serious about these girls.
The next court date is next Wednesday. Anyone want to place bets on if she shows?
So... we get to the courthouse and we don't know what we are doing. We go to walk into the courtroom and a woman in a side room asks if we are the girls' foster parents. It is our new case worker! Yes, the woman who hasn't called me back since Thursday. She has the "oops, busted face" going on and has to do some pedaling quickly to come up with some answers. We chatted with her for quite some time and then who walks in but our legal liaison. Busted! He has not called back since Thursday either. Here we are with both of them so we were able to nail them down for some direct answers.
We had quite a bit of time with them as we waited before going into the court room. Why did we have time? Well, because biomom was a no show. Seriously? Who doesn't show to court when your children are removed from your home? Second no show for her... yet we have to make up today's missed visit on Thursday? That is messed up.
While we are waiting we got to throw a lot of requests at our case worker.
1. Speech therapy for both
2. FAS testing for Sissy
3. Suspended visits until biomom gets her lice taken care of
4. Visits not at the awful park
5. Regulated guests at visits (we had a crazy amount of people at a visit)
6. Play therapy for Sissy
Some of these requests were eagerly received by our caseworker, some not so much. She really balked at the FAS testing and the therapies. Really? I think these are some things that the girls really need. We can handle a not so great park and we can deal with having to do lice prevention all the time. These items will not harm the girls forever. If we don't tackle the speech issues that will continue. All the kids except the oldest of the 5 have the speech issues. The FAS isn't limited to Sissy. The caseworker for the oldest two believes that the 15 year old may also have FAS and is pushing for testing for him. We need the diagnosis for services. If we were to test and it comes back negative, great! If not we need to be ready to get the services that are needed.
What we were able to get at court... nothing. Since biomom did not show up there were no requests made of the judge.
What did happen: Their 7 year old sister was placed immediately with her biodad. A huge surprise to us. Last we knew he was not ready. It was not anticipated by her fostermom either otherwise we would have gotten together this weekend.
We also had a great conversation with the case worker for the girls' oldest two siblings. We now have contact info for their foster family so we can go visit them.
Having the 7 year old now placed with her biodad shifts the dynamics of the whole thing. A friend who used to be a reunification worker was talking with us this past weekend and was saying how they try to keep the unit together and as long as they were all in care that there would be reunification attempts. She also said that if any of the kids are not placed with the biomom that there is a higher likelihood that reunification won't happen. Who knows.
Really though, who has 5 kids taken away and doesn't bother to show up in court?
For us. Even though we have no results from the court visit for the girls our comfort level with the courtroom is there. We now know a little of what to expect. It is the little things, like the acoustics of the room that can throw you off. Showing up also shows all the workers around the case that we are serious about these girls.
The next court date is next Wednesday. Anyone want to place bets on if she shows?
Monday, July 20, 2015
Carving out the time
Rabbit here... I am on Squirrel's computer and don't remember my log in, so I'm just using her computer.
Normal day today. Only unique thing was that Squirrel got to experience the full turd in the tub tonight. Bug has been refusing to poop at school so not too surprised, but we will probably do "speed baths" when we have not pooped at school. I would much rather clean a diaper than a tub.
A friend asked a question on facebook today and it was more than I can answer in a quick facebook way: "Fellow parents of small children, how do you find the time to do things other than parent and work? We have a small child with us temporarily, for part of the week, and we do all the 'extras' on our days 'off.' But sometime soon we hope to have a full-time child or two."
We knew when we went into this that we would lose some time to do our other things, but honestly, I think I expected to lose more time than we are at this time. I would say the first 4 weeks feel like you have no time, but after that it starts to relax. We found our time by creating structure and boundaries. It feels like you are a big bully and super conservative, but it is worth it. Some folks may say we are too rigid, but it works for us and our girls respect it. I think our girls often prefer to be treated like little adults.
Our schedule is set. We hold to fairly regular meal, snack, walk, bath, and sleep times. By doing so we have created pockets of time for ourselves. The girls are in bed by 9:00 and we get up at 7:15 (I magically get them to school around 7:30. Clothes are laid out the night before. Hair is done the night before so that the morning only needs a refresh. When home the meals are at 9:00, 12:00, 4:00 (snack) and 6:00. There are no other meals. This has decreased the constant begging for food. While this was tough with the food insecurity, it is working. Naps are 2 hours and start between 1 and 2.
During the morning most of the play is on your own. Afternoon play may be directed. This allows us to do what we need to do while the girls do what they "need" to. The afternoon play often is to do some learning with colors, shapes, alphabets, etc.
It is okay to not play with your kids all the time. We are super lucky that the duo's school really helps them learn self-directed play and keeps them exploring. This carries over a lot at home.
With this we have learned to listen for key behaviors and we can be in separate rooms, or even floors and know what they are up to. Having a little trust in them helps a lot.
The first few weeks we didn't let them out of our sight... now the duo knows that I will not be downstairs until after my shower and they are to play calmly and wait for their cereal.
We give each other "adult time" each week. Away from home and away from the duo.
It is okay to sit on the front porch and visit with the neighbor when the kids are napping. Nobody wants to be inside all day. We are also lucky that our neighbors are like family. So much so that our duo has started referring to their grandma and grandpa as such.
In our house we also keep a focus on keeping the house clean and picked up. After a meal the dishes are done. Before going outside the toys are picked up. We have the duo put their toys faway. This is dual purpose. We don't get overwhelmed and we are teaching them how to be respectful of their environment. Bug actually gets very upset if I start to vacuum and she does not have her little vacuum to help. I have done my laundry on a routine for several years and I was able to maintain that when the girls came in the house. I do all laundry on Saturday or Sunday morning... every last bit of it. There is no searching for items that may be clean or may not.
Hobbies don't have to be hidden from the kids. It took me a few weeks, but now if I want to play the piano I do so. The girls may or may not choose to sit with me, but I am doing what I want and they are doing what they want. I may bust into a little Twinkle Twinkle just for them, but it is a small compromise.
Shopping is done with intention. Wandering the aisles slowly is not an option. We can do a full grocery trip in less than 30 minutes. All grocery shopping must be done after feeding the duo. Browsing is not an option.
We are working on a few things that will fit in with our hobbies. Hopefully we will get the duo pedaling their own bikes soon. That will open up the option for them to bike with us when we run or even a family bike "trip".
So I may have to give up a band or two. I still managed to throw my 90 year old friend a birthday party, complete with 90 homemade cupcakes. While I don't ride my cycle every day I have figured out that I can drop the girls at school, return home and get my bike and still be to work on time. A little bit here and there and it works out. Sometimes I feel like we are able to do more in a day than before, but Squirrel doesn't think so.
One thing to note is that we have been extremely lucky that our foster agency transports and supervises visits so that is not a time suck (3+ hours a week). I am also lucky that my colleagues are awesome.
Normal day today. Only unique thing was that Squirrel got to experience the full turd in the tub tonight. Bug has been refusing to poop at school so not too surprised, but we will probably do "speed baths" when we have not pooped at school. I would much rather clean a diaper than a tub.
A friend asked a question on facebook today and it was more than I can answer in a quick facebook way: "Fellow parents of small children, how do you find the time to do things other than parent and work? We have a small child with us temporarily, for part of the week, and we do all the 'extras' on our days 'off.' But sometime soon we hope to have a full-time child or two."
We knew when we went into this that we would lose some time to do our other things, but honestly, I think I expected to lose more time than we are at this time. I would say the first 4 weeks feel like you have no time, but after that it starts to relax. We found our time by creating structure and boundaries. It feels like you are a big bully and super conservative, but it is worth it. Some folks may say we are too rigid, but it works for us and our girls respect it. I think our girls often prefer to be treated like little adults.
Our schedule is set. We hold to fairly regular meal, snack, walk, bath, and sleep times. By doing so we have created pockets of time for ourselves. The girls are in bed by 9:00 and we get up at 7:15 (I magically get them to school around 7:30. Clothes are laid out the night before. Hair is done the night before so that the morning only needs a refresh. When home the meals are at 9:00, 12:00, 4:00 (snack) and 6:00. There are no other meals. This has decreased the constant begging for food. While this was tough with the food insecurity, it is working. Naps are 2 hours and start between 1 and 2.
During the morning most of the play is on your own. Afternoon play may be directed. This allows us to do what we need to do while the girls do what they "need" to. The afternoon play often is to do some learning with colors, shapes, alphabets, etc.
It is okay to not play with your kids all the time. We are super lucky that the duo's school really helps them learn self-directed play and keeps them exploring. This carries over a lot at home.
With this we have learned to listen for key behaviors and we can be in separate rooms, or even floors and know what they are up to. Having a little trust in them helps a lot.
The first few weeks we didn't let them out of our sight... now the duo knows that I will not be downstairs until after my shower and they are to play calmly and wait for their cereal.
We give each other "adult time" each week. Away from home and away from the duo.
It is okay to sit on the front porch and visit with the neighbor when the kids are napping. Nobody wants to be inside all day. We are also lucky that our neighbors are like family. So much so that our duo has started referring to their grandma and grandpa as such.
In our house we also keep a focus on keeping the house clean and picked up. After a meal the dishes are done. Before going outside the toys are picked up. We have the duo put their toys faway. This is dual purpose. We don't get overwhelmed and we are teaching them how to be respectful of their environment. Bug actually gets very upset if I start to vacuum and she does not have her little vacuum to help. I have done my laundry on a routine for several years and I was able to maintain that when the girls came in the house. I do all laundry on Saturday or Sunday morning... every last bit of it. There is no searching for items that may be clean or may not.
Hobbies don't have to be hidden from the kids. It took me a few weeks, but now if I want to play the piano I do so. The girls may or may not choose to sit with me, but I am doing what I want and they are doing what they want. I may bust into a little Twinkle Twinkle just for them, but it is a small compromise.
Shopping is done with intention. Wandering the aisles slowly is not an option. We can do a full grocery trip in less than 30 minutes. All grocery shopping must be done after feeding the duo. Browsing is not an option.
We are working on a few things that will fit in with our hobbies. Hopefully we will get the duo pedaling their own bikes soon. That will open up the option for them to bike with us when we run or even a family bike "trip".
So I may have to give up a band or two. I still managed to throw my 90 year old friend a birthday party, complete with 90 homemade cupcakes. While I don't ride my cycle every day I have figured out that I can drop the girls at school, return home and get my bike and still be to work on time. A little bit here and there and it works out. Sometimes I feel like we are able to do more in a day than before, but Squirrel doesn't think so.
One thing to note is that we have been extremely lucky that our foster agency transports and supervises visits so that is not a time suck (3+ hours a week). I am also lucky that my colleagues are awesome.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Sing yourself to sleep
Squirrel has some time off this coming week so she had to work today to make up for it. That left me with weekend errands with the duo.
First stop was to a garage sale a friend told us about. Her friends were having it and they supposedly had some size 5 clothes. Jackpot! It wasn't a huge sale, but less than $10 and we have enough pants and clothes for this fall. The hardest thing to find the girls are pants without spending crazy amounts. We have yet to get our clothing allowance and even if we had pants are still more than we wish to spend most of the time. Mind you, I'm not able to comb adds or window shop with these two. It is more like a dash and grab. When you are dashing and grabbing it is hard to find those sale prices. Until today we also have not mastered the "try this on" concept. Everything we put on we don't want to take off! Until today. We had so many clothes that Sissy was excited to put the next thing on and super cooperative. Of the 8 pair of pants or so we only had 1 pair that I thought were to small. It was great at the sale as the hosts' daughters played well with the girls while I was able to shop.
After the garage sale we headed to the outlet mall, and more specifically Old Navy as they had a sale this week, even on their clearance. That didn't go as well as the garage sale. We got a few great prices on some shirts and then we were too crazy to keep shopping. I actually had to do a football carry on Bug to get her out of the store and to the car. Trying to carry her normal she pushes off with both her arms and feet and I can only dedicate one arm to carrying her as the other is holding Sissy's hand.
I thought our errands would be done at that point, but when we got close to home they were calm so I braved JoAnn's with them. I have wanted to put different curtains up versus the black and white ones I have had in the girls' room. Both of the girls were great in the store. It helped that they both were able to ride in the cart. We all picked out the fabric together. Some pretty pastel stripes with sparkles on it.
Home meant lunch and then they were quite tired so "rest" time. Naps did not happen quickly. It took them two cranky hours before they crashed. They were then out for two hours. That gave me four hours to do all the laundry, make the curtains, and clean up around the house.
Sissy allowed me to put her hair in pigtails today. I like the look much more than the whale spout that she has been sporting. She even allowed me to trim the uneven hair at her neck. Her poor little neck is all scarred from her itching when we got her and with the pigtails it is easily seen.
After dinner Bug also allowed me to try pigtails in her hair. They are both so darn cute! We all then had to go next door to show the neighbors. They love the neighbors. Just our luck, they were just getting ready to cook out. The girls settled right in and each had 2 hotdogs and sides (each). This is after we had already eaten our dinner. Oh well.
Now we are all tucked in. The girls have finally fallen asleep. Amazing how just a few short weeks ago they screamed and cried their way to sleep. Tonight they sang themselves to sleep.
First stop was to a garage sale a friend told us about. Her friends were having it and they supposedly had some size 5 clothes. Jackpot! It wasn't a huge sale, but less than $10 and we have enough pants and clothes for this fall. The hardest thing to find the girls are pants without spending crazy amounts. We have yet to get our clothing allowance and even if we had pants are still more than we wish to spend most of the time. Mind you, I'm not able to comb adds or window shop with these two. It is more like a dash and grab. When you are dashing and grabbing it is hard to find those sale prices. Until today we also have not mastered the "try this on" concept. Everything we put on we don't want to take off! Until today. We had so many clothes that Sissy was excited to put the next thing on and super cooperative. Of the 8 pair of pants or so we only had 1 pair that I thought were to small. It was great at the sale as the hosts' daughters played well with the girls while I was able to shop.
After the garage sale we headed to the outlet mall, and more specifically Old Navy as they had a sale this week, even on their clearance. That didn't go as well as the garage sale. We got a few great prices on some shirts and then we were too crazy to keep shopping. I actually had to do a football carry on Bug to get her out of the store and to the car. Trying to carry her normal she pushes off with both her arms and feet and I can only dedicate one arm to carrying her as the other is holding Sissy's hand.
I thought our errands would be done at that point, but when we got close to home they were calm so I braved JoAnn's with them. I have wanted to put different curtains up versus the black and white ones I have had in the girls' room. Both of the girls were great in the store. It helped that they both were able to ride in the cart. We all picked out the fabric together. Some pretty pastel stripes with sparkles on it.
Home meant lunch and then they were quite tired so "rest" time. Naps did not happen quickly. It took them two cranky hours before they crashed. They were then out for two hours. That gave me four hours to do all the laundry, make the curtains, and clean up around the house.
Sissy allowed me to put her hair in pigtails today. I like the look much more than the whale spout that she has been sporting. She even allowed me to trim the uneven hair at her neck. Her poor little neck is all scarred from her itching when we got her and with the pigtails it is easily seen.
After dinner Bug also allowed me to try pigtails in her hair. They are both so darn cute! We all then had to go next door to show the neighbors. They love the neighbors. Just our luck, they were just getting ready to cook out. The girls settled right in and each had 2 hotdogs and sides (each). This is after we had already eaten our dinner. Oh well.
Now we are all tucked in. The girls have finally fallen asleep. Amazing how just a few short weeks ago they screamed and cried their way to sleep. Tonight they sang themselves to sleep.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Run!
I'm sure bioparents know this, but I hadn't. When you have toddlers you have about 3 hours in which to do all your social life for the day. Unfortunately for us those hours are 9-12 when none of our normal peeps are ready on the weekend. After 12 it is lunch, naps, dinner, bath, bed with a little play time between each. Sometimes we are able to skip the naps, but that ends up with other complications later.
Sissy is trying to be more helpful and today she tried to balance her glass on her plate to bring it to the kitchen. It was a thinner glass than usual (dishwasher was running) and unfortunately it fell and broke. Poor girl thought I was going to yell when I ran to swoop her up. She had no injuries, but I did end up with a small glass sliver and one of the dogs did cut her paw. We all worked together and put a bandage on the dog's boo-boo.
Our 9-12 today was filled with an adventure to a local road race. We have both done the race since it started a few years ago and this year Squirrel had to miss it to take care of the girls so I could trudge the 9.3 miles. This is actually a race she struggles with every year so it was unlikely with the missed training this year that it would have been a very successful run anyways.
So... off I go to my race. Squirrel was bringing the girls to the tots trot later in the morning so I rode my bike to the race so we only had one vehicle in the end. It was HOT! Usually I am cold for the first mile or three, but I was sweating before it even started. I survived, but unfortunately I was 6 minutes late to see the kids' race/run. We knew Bug likes to run, but weren't very sure about Sissy. They both loved it! Fortunately a friend stepped in and helped Squirrel because as soon as they said "start" the duo split and ran in different directions. They were so cute with their little running numbers on.
After our runs we all had Popsicles, cookies, and bananas (I'm starting to really love anyone that feeds my kids) and then let the girls jump in the bounce houses. It was really a shame that there were 2 bounce houses and barely any kids in them. At most there were 5 in one at one time. That was perfect for us. We were able to let the kids bounce as much as they wanted as we were able to just sit in the shade and watch. Each jump exhausting their little bodies more and more. It is amazing to think that 3-4 weeks ago they could have never handled the crowds and now we were able to just sit back and watch.
A lot of things have gotten so much better. Sissy is really not testing boundaries anymore (Bug is now). We still have food issues, but we aren't screaming about them so much. All of us have really started to settle in.
After our morning adventures at the race we were interested in going to ride the bus for a town tour of attractions, and it was only a dollar a person, but we opted to stay home as it looked a bit stormy and then we needed our naps. The naps were awesome and Squirrel and I quickly cleaned a bit of the house. After the 2 hour nap the girls played in their room quietly for an entire hour before coming down.
Sissy is trying to be more helpful and today she tried to balance her glass on her plate to bring it to the kitchen. It was a thinner glass than usual (dishwasher was running) and unfortunately it fell and broke. Poor girl thought I was going to yell when I ran to swoop her up. She had no injuries, but I did end up with a small glass sliver and one of the dogs did cut her paw. We all worked together and put a bandage on the dog's boo-boo.
I took a risk after dinner and got out supplies to make bracelets. I know that beads are advanced for a 2 and 3 year old, but we need to find ways to keep them out of our stuff and they have a huge attraction for our jewelry. They both did great! Bug sat in her high chair and I mainly made her bracelet and Sissy was able to do half of hers by herself. The bracelets probably won't last too long as they yank on them and the clasps are magnetic so they are sticking them everywhere, but now we have an alternative to our items.
We did play outside after dinner as well, but we scurried in when the neighbors got their pizza. We have learned to remove them when it is time for someone else to eat. One day the neighbor came outside eating chips and dip and he was pretty much tackled by our duo.
That's our day... pretty normal day for anyone's standards and that is a nice place to be at.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Seven weeks
Where I work it is expected that you call people back in a reasonable time. I believe within 24 hours, or 1 work day is reasonable.
Apparently in foster care that is not what happens. Neither of our calls yesterday to our case worker or our legal liaison were returned. If you have 105 foster families with your agency and you have two case workers (which would be less than I guess they have) each case worker would have 52 families. If each of these families called once a week you would have 10 calls a day to make. Reality is we call once every 3 weeks or so and if that is average then a case worker has 3 calls to make a day. Point is... return my call! I'm just not comfortable that the visits seem a bit contrary to what our court papers say.
We finished another great week of school. Every day the girls respond better and better to being dropped off and picked up. Bug's reports every day are that she is a happy kid, but today one of her teachers asked about the dynamics between the girls. Now that she is comfortable a bit of her spunk is starting to show. When she wants or doesn't want something she lets it known. Apparently she has even started to swing when she doesn't want something. We don't tolerate that at home and it is nice that school is also not allowing such actions. She tends to really want to fight getting in or out of the car (depending if she wants to go or stay) or when you try to remove her from her high chair. She also gets feisty when she can't figure something out, like when she knows where the letter "I" goes in her puzzle but it doesn't fit (has to be flipped upside down as it is not symetrical).
The evening today went quickly again. Squirrel managed to create a meltdown or two... like when the baseball bat was taken away when Sissy whacked Bug in the head, but that is to be expected. After I got home we ran to the running store to register for tomorrow's races and the girls were terrible in there so we drug them out (I had to put Bug under my arm and hold tight), but we then decided to go for tacos (becoming a Friday tradition). Neither girl wanted to stop eating! After tacos it was baths and bed.
Weekdays are so much easier now that we have help with daycare.
Apparently in foster care that is not what happens. Neither of our calls yesterday to our case worker or our legal liaison were returned. If you have 105 foster families with your agency and you have two case workers (which would be less than I guess they have) each case worker would have 52 families. If each of these families called once a week you would have 10 calls a day to make. Reality is we call once every 3 weeks or so and if that is average then a case worker has 3 calls to make a day. Point is... return my call! I'm just not comfortable that the visits seem a bit contrary to what our court papers say.
We finished another great week of school. Every day the girls respond better and better to being dropped off and picked up. Bug's reports every day are that she is a happy kid, but today one of her teachers asked about the dynamics between the girls. Now that she is comfortable a bit of her spunk is starting to show. When she wants or doesn't want something she lets it known. Apparently she has even started to swing when she doesn't want something. We don't tolerate that at home and it is nice that school is also not allowing such actions. She tends to really want to fight getting in or out of the car (depending if she wants to go or stay) or when you try to remove her from her high chair. She also gets feisty when she can't figure something out, like when she knows where the letter "I" goes in her puzzle but it doesn't fit (has to be flipped upside down as it is not symetrical).
The evening today went quickly again. Squirrel managed to create a meltdown or two... like when the baseball bat was taken away when Sissy whacked Bug in the head, but that is to be expected. After I got home we ran to the running store to register for tomorrow's races and the girls were terrible in there so we drug them out (I had to put Bug under my arm and hold tight), but we then decided to go for tacos (becoming a Friday tradition). Neither girl wanted to stop eating! After tacos it was baths and bed.
Weekdays are so much easier now that we have help with daycare.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
New beds!
I think we mentioned that we have a new case worker... in case I didn't, well we have a new case worker. We are still trying to figure things out when biomom chooses to not show up at a visit and so I called our new case worker. She told me that she doesn't really know our case and she will have to check. I detail out what I am talking about in the court paperwork and she says that she will check it and call me back.
There was some mix-up with school and for some reason Sissy's teacher thought they weren't coming tomorrow (I have that fixed) and they sent home her week's work. Here is Sissy's first diorama... there was a "tent" on it made of corn chips, but I think the dogs already ate it (Sissy doesn't know that).
She didn't call back. Surprised? Not me.
Squirrel also called our legal liaison. We had really high hopes with him. He didn't call back either.
There was some mix-up with school and for some reason Sissy's teacher thought they weren't coming tomorrow (I have that fixed) and they sent home her week's work. Here is Sissy's first diorama... there was a "tent" on it made of corn chips, but I think the dogs already ate it (Sissy doesn't know that).
Today we didn't have a ton of time with the girls. Pick up from visit at 4:00; home at 4:30; unload truck and set up beds in room 5:00; dinner at 6:00; abbreviated walk at 7:00; and in bed by 7:45. Yeap. I put them to bed at 7:45.
They were actually being quite difficult. When we tried our walk Sissy would not mind and continued to run even when told she was far enough ahead and after two warnings we turned around and went home. She complained the whole way home, but she is pretty quick on her feet and I can't leave the two year old to chase the 3 year old so we have to mind. When we got home it was into the bubble bath and they immediately started fighting over who got to sit next to the faucet. Some serious pushing and shoving that could end in injury so bath time was a speed bath with no playing. I think they both were surprised that as soon as the fight started I turned the water off and started washing hair. We typically give them as long as they like to swim and play in the bath. I think we were done with it all in less than 10 minutes. Sissy was just not having a great evening. Since Bug was still in the bath I only partially dried Sissy before returning to Bug (I am more fearful when she is in alone) and left Sissy to finish and put on her pajamas. She whined the entire time. I pulled Bug out of the water, dried, and put her in her PJs and Sissy was still whining. We did hair, books, and I left them for bed. They were then quiet... it took nearly two hours for them to sleep, but they were quiet and content and they hadn't been all evening.
I think their "new" beds will work out fine. We left the crib up in case Bug had difficulties, but it looks like she will be better than Sissy. We also just put the boxsprings and mattress on the floor for a few days until we are sure that Bug won't fall out. If we need to we will get her a rail, but we thought we will just keep them as low as possible for a few days. The beds will also be super cute if I paint them.
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| It seems that Bug may have taken all of the hand puppets to bed with her. Along with her favorite book. At least she lays in the center of the bed... |
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| Sissy, however, has chosen to use the least amount of her new bed. |
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Unanswered questions
No post yesterday; sometimes the day catches up with us and we just cant find the energy.
Yesterday in a nutshell is this. No BioMom at visit, just Dad.. and we want to make sure that is okay. I contacted the Legal caseworker man. So far I have not heard back from him. I also wanted to double check those court dates again. The other parties involved know nothing about the second date (and that is the one that I have made work arrangements to be at). Also, I have not managed to get to the WIC office yet, so IF WIC is already in place for the kiddos... Bio is having some yummie egg and cheese omelets that we should be getting. It seems like the state would somehow roll that over automatically. There are sure a lot of hoops to jump through. Wouldn't be such an issue IF we didn't work, or some of theses places had one night a week that they had late hours, Or if the company I work for wasn't so difficult to get needed time off... GGRRRRR
Today Sissy wasn't feeling all that well, the school called Rabbit at work, but left her no message. They then called my phone and did leave a message, which I didn't get in time because we cant have our phones at work. So I got it as I was leaving work to pick her up.
Once I got to the school they said that she was feeling a bit better. We think she was 'slightly' under the weather.. but also we think some of it was behavioral. She had told us that 'Mommie is in the Hospital" and that's why she wasn't at visit. She will state that she needs to go to the hospital fairly regularly. (like the time her lip was bleeding). So we just down played it and sure enough she started saying that she was "not sick now".
We again came home from school missing our clothes and with some other clothes that didn't belong to us. Rabbit always washes the incorrect clothes. Days later when we do get our clothes back they are multiple days in a plastic pee bag. fermented and gross. It is partially my fault for not opening the bag and checking the contents. I guess I will start peeking in the pee bag in search of something familiar. That wont help for straight up missing items. (Rabbit does drop off duty therefore; I'm not sure when I pick them up If they are in original or backup outfits). but at least we won't have to wash another kiddos soiled clothing items.
Tonight at supper, Sissy had asked for more food. I told her that we have had enough (She had a big cheeseburger, a double helping of beans, a double helping of jello, a few chips, and multiple glasses of water. She was 100% fine with not having more food. After all, I knew she was no longer hungry and she was just asking because they will just keep eating if you let them. She didn't even care that I said enough.. which I will interpret as 'she is beginning to realize that there will always be more/enough food for her here' - so no need to get upset.
Thanks to a kind friend, the Duo will have new beds tomorrow. No more crib for Bug. and No more giant bed for Sissy. I'm sure they will both be excited about that.
Tomorrow is also another Bio visit. It would have been nice to have some answers to the is Dad allowed to visit without Mom question.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Duo Days.
Back to standard Monday school/work routine. Rabbit actually had to wake the Duo this morning, guess all the weekend fun left them pretty sleepy. When I picked them up from school, Sissys teacher said that she was a little concerned about how the girls would be; because they only had one week in before an entire week off. She said that she thought she may have to reestablish school routines; but nope. Sissy had her best day at school yet. She lined right up right where she was suppose to be, went potty, grabbed her blanker for rest time etc... Bug also had a great day at school. Her teacher said that she came in and just "went right to work". Rabbit said that she has always started her day playing with 'Tato Head' (that's Mr. Potato to you and me) - but this morning she just went right in, straight to the cabinet and picked a different activity. No melt down or anything at being left there.
No Bio visit, and apparently the time is going to change because D- A-D has a new J-O-B.. oops, was I spell talking? That has just become such a habit now. Anyway, less convenient for me as I will now need to pick up there from the visit 3 times a week, instead of school. School is closer, and truthfully, I am not overly excited to see Bio's.. somehow it always puts me in a mood. Now it will be 3 times a week. I guess this isn't really about me though so.. I guess employment will look good for the court date thats rapidly approaching.
Tonight we all went to a concert. It was an outside concert, so the Duo didn't have to sit still. Free to dance and run. They were very well behaved and charmed several people. Bug is so funny, When the lady sitting next to me stood up for one of the songs, bug pushed her way behind her knees and climbed into her chair. Sissy surprised me by announcing that the "conductor has a stick"! Not only is 'conductor' a large word, but its also an uncommon word... and she remembered it from our last concert.
Sissy is also really enjoying singing songs. Six short weeks ago, she didn't know any songs and would just make humming and lalala type sounds for singing. Now she sings several songs. After we read the Duo bedtime books, we now must all sing a song together or the bedtime routine is not complete.
Next time we are stuck in on a rainy day.. I'm going to play guitar, Rabbit on piano, and they can play drums (they each have one now, they just have not been given to them yet), and we can sing and have a family concert. You know that we will all have recorders soon. I think they might just follow along to twinkle twinkle little star... maybe...
Sorry Neighbors, that sound is us.
No Bio visit, and apparently the time is going to change because D- A-D has a new J-O-B.. oops, was I spell talking? That has just become such a habit now. Anyway, less convenient for me as I will now need to pick up there from the visit 3 times a week, instead of school. School is closer, and truthfully, I am not overly excited to see Bio's.. somehow it always puts me in a mood. Now it will be 3 times a week. I guess this isn't really about me though so.. I guess employment will look good for the court date thats rapidly approaching.
Tonight we all went to a concert. It was an outside concert, so the Duo didn't have to sit still. Free to dance and run. They were very well behaved and charmed several people. Bug is so funny, When the lady sitting next to me stood up for one of the songs, bug pushed her way behind her knees and climbed into her chair. Sissy surprised me by announcing that the "conductor has a stick"! Not only is 'conductor' a large word, but its also an uncommon word... and she remembered it from our last concert.
Sissy is also really enjoying singing songs. Six short weeks ago, she didn't know any songs and would just make humming and lalala type sounds for singing. Now she sings several songs. After we read the Duo bedtime books, we now must all sing a song together or the bedtime routine is not complete.
Next time we are stuck in on a rainy day.. I'm going to play guitar, Rabbit on piano, and they can play drums (they each have one now, they just have not been given to them yet), and we can sing and have a family concert. You know that we will all have recorders soon. I think they might just follow along to twinkle twinkle little star... maybe...
Sorry Neighbors, that sound is us.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Birthdays and swimming
After countless scrapes, and band aids the weekend comes to a wrap.
Weekends are great as typically they are all ours. By that I mean we don't have any family visits, lawyer stuff, appointments... that stuff.
The birthday party for our dear friend on Saturday was fantastic. We were very concerned how the girls would behave for a birthday party for seniors. Since the guest of honor just turned 90 there weren't any playmates that would be coming to the party. We ran around (a lot) and played with balloons, but that was expected. Both girls were not shy and actually were quite charming. It wasn't until the last half hour that they needed to go outside and play.
After that party we went home to our second party of the day and went next door for a 45th birthday party. Once again the girls were great. There were very good again. It was an excellent day. This party did have kids and was outside and much (much) more chaotic. Around 9:30 there was talk of sparklers so we scurried our two home and into bed.
Having success with birthday parties is a big deal. They talk so much about birthdays and Sissy often says "when daddy gets money he is going to buy me a birthday cake". She focuses so much on that and her birthday is in October so we didn't have any clue how she would react when these parties were for others. They may actually pull some of the focus she has on her own birthday off!
Today we went over to a friends house to swim. We still have situations that we don't know what their reaction will be and swimming was a concern. What was nice is that the pool isn't too big, but it wasn't a tiny thing either. We spent hours in the pool. It took a little while for us to convince them to get in, but once we were in they soon followed. Swimming in a life vest was a big fail, but by the end of the day we had Sissy mostly hanging on to a kickboard and not our necks. Bug is not ready to be independent in the pool, but she definitely liked it. We did manage to teach Sissy that she can pull herself out of the pool at the side which was a huge goal of mine. I just don't want them to ever find themselves in trouble and not be able to help themselves at all. It won't be us ever leaving them unattended by a pool, but they may not be with us forever and we need to prepare them for that.
Tomorrow is back to school (day care) and from this point forward we should really be able to start hitting our routine. Six weeks. We have accomplished so much in six weeks.
Weekends are great as typically they are all ours. By that I mean we don't have any family visits, lawyer stuff, appointments... that stuff.
The birthday party for our dear friend on Saturday was fantastic. We were very concerned how the girls would behave for a birthday party for seniors. Since the guest of honor just turned 90 there weren't any playmates that would be coming to the party. We ran around (a lot) and played with balloons, but that was expected. Both girls were not shy and actually were quite charming. It wasn't until the last half hour that they needed to go outside and play.
After that party we went home to our second party of the day and went next door for a 45th birthday party. Once again the girls were great. There were very good again. It was an excellent day. This party did have kids and was outside and much (much) more chaotic. Around 9:30 there was talk of sparklers so we scurried our two home and into bed.
Having success with birthday parties is a big deal. They talk so much about birthdays and Sissy often says "when daddy gets money he is going to buy me a birthday cake". She focuses so much on that and her birthday is in October so we didn't have any clue how she would react when these parties were for others. They may actually pull some of the focus she has on her own birthday off!
Today we went over to a friends house to swim. We still have situations that we don't know what their reaction will be and swimming was a concern. What was nice is that the pool isn't too big, but it wasn't a tiny thing either. We spent hours in the pool. It took a little while for us to convince them to get in, but once we were in they soon followed. Swimming in a life vest was a big fail, but by the end of the day we had Sissy mostly hanging on to a kickboard and not our necks. Bug is not ready to be independent in the pool, but she definitely liked it. We did manage to teach Sissy that she can pull herself out of the pool at the side which was a huge goal of mine. I just don't want them to ever find themselves in trouble and not be able to help themselves at all. It won't be us ever leaving them unattended by a pool, but they may not be with us forever and we need to prepare them for that.
Tomorrow is back to school (day care) and from this point forward we should really be able to start hitting our routine. Six weeks. We have accomplished so much in six weeks.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Ready for a busy weekend!
We made it. Our week off from school and we all survived.
Actually, just a few weeks ago I would have never guessed that when left alone with the Duo anyone would be able to get anything done.
This morning I baked 100 cupcakes. Not only are those done, but I think we have everything prepped for our party for our friend tomorrow. The kids are super psyched as they love birthdays even though they don't know the guest of honor or anyone that will be there. It is a 90th birthday party so they will be by far the youngest guests there.
Six weeks in and we have some great (and not so great) routine. I'm not thrilled that Sissy finds the need to get up every day before 7 AM. Really child, sleep in a bit, will ya? However she is now dressing herself. This morning she chose a cute peach dress... her sister's. She did change without argument when asked, but I did let her wear her little shiny black dress shoes all day (why on Earth she chooses to wear them baffles me). Both girls respect now that there are their toys and then we have things that are ours. A few things that we call ours we let them play with, but because they have many pieces or they argue over them we only pull them out to play with for a little bit at a time. Mr. Potato Head is one of those items. We respect those boundaries and we even now respect the boundaries over whose books are whose. Now I just need to reorganize our bookshelf from the first few weeks when we didn't respect those boundaries.
Other fantastic routines are those around bedtime and nap time. We don't argue about it (much). Today Sissy actually requested a nap after lunch. Bug fell asleep at the table, but then failed to nap (that kid is a trip!).
We are starting to be able to fall into some normal family routines and not be afraid of the reactions the girls have. This afternoon before Squirrel got home Sissy announced that she was going to ask Squirrel if we could go have tacos for dinner. Sounded alright to me! I left it be and quietly asked Squirrel if that was alright if Sissy asked her. About a half hour later Sissy trotted off and asked so we all packed up and went for tacos. She doesn't normally ask for anything specific so I think going out for tacos is something special to her. Our luck was that tonight was also Art Walk downtown so we went to see the drummers again and this time he let the girls try the drums. Bug tried, Sissy was too shy. We also went into one of the large churches. The girls have no concept of what a church is and were calling them castles. They thought it was beautiful. We will probably take them to some services so they get an understanding of what it is. What a difference in a month. Tonight we let them both walk most of the way. A few times we picked up Bug so that we could move faster, but we weren't fearful of either of them darting into traffic or finding it funny to try to get away. We were able to stand back and watch Bug as she stared in amazement at the buskers playing on the sidewalk. Such a mighty little two year old holding her own as everyone walked around her standing there in the middle. We even saw one of Sissy's classmates downtown who gave her a big hug. That was pretty awesome considering we only have been to school for one week.
The rest of the weekend will be a busy one. Tomorrow is the big party! I think the girls will be fine, and if not there is a playground that they can play on and it is only a few blocks from home. After that party is one next door... Birthday's galore! One for a 90 year old and then one for 45. It will be a big day and very unlikely that naps will happen. We did invite their Big Sister and her foster mom to the party... they won't know anyone, but the way these three really go on and on about birthday parties it may do them good to go to some that are not their own and they can play together.
Sunday we will either go swimming or to the Children's Museum. It is a 60% chance of thunderstorms so the museum is the backup plan. We really want to see what these two think of swimming. We don't know if they have had any exposure. The museum is always great and we have a year pass so we really should make use of it. It will be interesting to see what they think of the museum now that their behavior is generally less manic.
Wow, six weeks. Doesn't seem that long.
Oh! Almost forgot. Squirrel did some work on checking on WIC for the girls. Apparently if the girls have benefits until we change where the girls are with the WIC office the bioparents may still be cashing in on the benefits. We are going to make some changes to where that government cheese goes. We aren't desperate for the food assistance, but it doesn't hurt considering we are paying for a good chunk of this summer's day care out of our pockets. Of course the hours are during normal business hours that you have to show up at the office with the right items in your hands, but I think we are getting better at the navigation of these offices. Squirrel's plan is to take the items that they request in the office with her, but to have our entire file system for the girls waiting in her truck for when they request some weird obscure item. They told her all she needs is the placement letter and their health cards... I'll let you know later what they really need because nothing has been that simple.
Actually, just a few weeks ago I would have never guessed that when left alone with the Duo anyone would be able to get anything done.
This morning I baked 100 cupcakes. Not only are those done, but I think we have everything prepped for our party for our friend tomorrow. The kids are super psyched as they love birthdays even though they don't know the guest of honor or anyone that will be there. It is a 90th birthday party so they will be by far the youngest guests there.
Six weeks in and we have some great (and not so great) routine. I'm not thrilled that Sissy finds the need to get up every day before 7 AM. Really child, sleep in a bit, will ya? However she is now dressing herself. This morning she chose a cute peach dress... her sister's. She did change without argument when asked, but I did let her wear her little shiny black dress shoes all day (why on Earth she chooses to wear them baffles me). Both girls respect now that there are their toys and then we have things that are ours. A few things that we call ours we let them play with, but because they have many pieces or they argue over them we only pull them out to play with for a little bit at a time. Mr. Potato Head is one of those items. We respect those boundaries and we even now respect the boundaries over whose books are whose. Now I just need to reorganize our bookshelf from the first few weeks when we didn't respect those boundaries.
Other fantastic routines are those around bedtime and nap time. We don't argue about it (much). Today Sissy actually requested a nap after lunch. Bug fell asleep at the table, but then failed to nap (that kid is a trip!).
We are starting to be able to fall into some normal family routines and not be afraid of the reactions the girls have. This afternoon before Squirrel got home Sissy announced that she was going to ask Squirrel if we could go have tacos for dinner. Sounded alright to me! I left it be and quietly asked Squirrel if that was alright if Sissy asked her. About a half hour later Sissy trotted off and asked so we all packed up and went for tacos. She doesn't normally ask for anything specific so I think going out for tacos is something special to her. Our luck was that tonight was also Art Walk downtown so we went to see the drummers again and this time he let the girls try the drums. Bug tried, Sissy was too shy. We also went into one of the large churches. The girls have no concept of what a church is and were calling them castles. They thought it was beautiful. We will probably take them to some services so they get an understanding of what it is. What a difference in a month. Tonight we let them both walk most of the way. A few times we picked up Bug so that we could move faster, but we weren't fearful of either of them darting into traffic or finding it funny to try to get away. We were able to stand back and watch Bug as she stared in amazement at the buskers playing on the sidewalk. Such a mighty little two year old holding her own as everyone walked around her standing there in the middle. We even saw one of Sissy's classmates downtown who gave her a big hug. That was pretty awesome considering we only have been to school for one week.
The rest of the weekend will be a busy one. Tomorrow is the big party! I think the girls will be fine, and if not there is a playground that they can play on and it is only a few blocks from home. After that party is one next door... Birthday's galore! One for a 90 year old and then one for 45. It will be a big day and very unlikely that naps will happen. We did invite their Big Sister and her foster mom to the party... they won't know anyone, but the way these three really go on and on about birthday parties it may do them good to go to some that are not their own and they can play together.
Sunday we will either go swimming or to the Children's Museum. It is a 60% chance of thunderstorms so the museum is the backup plan. We really want to see what these two think of swimming. We don't know if they have had any exposure. The museum is always great and we have a year pass so we really should make use of it. It will be interesting to see what they think of the museum now that their behavior is generally less manic.
Wow, six weeks. Doesn't seem that long.
Oh! Almost forgot. Squirrel did some work on checking on WIC for the girls. Apparently if the girls have benefits until we change where the girls are with the WIC office the bioparents may still be cashing in on the benefits. We are going to make some changes to where that government cheese goes. We aren't desperate for the food assistance, but it doesn't hurt considering we are paying for a good chunk of this summer's day care out of our pockets. Of course the hours are during normal business hours that you have to show up at the office with the right items in your hands, but I think we are getting better at the navigation of these offices. Squirrel's plan is to take the items that they request in the office with her, but to have our entire file system for the girls waiting in her truck for when they request some weird obscure item. They told her all she needs is the placement letter and their health cards... I'll let you know later what they really need because nothing has been that simple.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
A busy day for tiny people
Today was pretty smooth for a situation where toddlers outnumber the Squirrel. The Duo was up early, breakfast was eaten, play time pretty uneventful. We really focused on colors. I was using the alpha puzzle and some Easter egg dying colored plastic cups- saying "put a green letter in the blue cup" etc... She really was doing well. Bug however was being a distraction to her as she wanted to play also, and was just dumping the puzzle and cups. Next time Sissy is awake before Bug, I will deffinatly take advantage of the time for some quality 'skill building' play. It definitely was a good game as it also worked on her listening skills. She actually has a very strong memory for things.
On the 'Potty' front.. Bug actually asked to sit on the potty twice today! Once was immediately after Sissy had gotten up, so I hadn't had a chance to empty the urine yet, therefore, I'm not sure if she actually went or not. The second time she didn't pee, but we celebrated both times like she had. It just may turn out that Little is potty trained before Big.
We had our Bio visit today. It was actually with all 5 siblings and both bio parents, a pet, and a handful of other teens(ish) that i have no idea who they were. (Not going to go into much detail about the actual visit). It went ok I guess. I was worried that it would be tough when it was time to leave, especially as they had NO NAP today. An epic meltdown was expected as we were actually the first ones to leave. Dad and older sister walked them out to the car, and only a tiny whimper for a moment. Then it was all about the 'snack' that they knew would be at home for them. And singing the ABC song on the way home. They love to sing in the car. We got a new toddler CD today as a gift (Thank you!) and it has some standard songs I had forgotten all about. It will be nice to sing more than our 4 songs we ask for. (Old Mcdonald, Wheels on the bus, ABC's, nick knack patty whack - as she calls it. Just in case you were curious)
We had a large family gathering for Squirrles Mom birthday at a local restaurant. There were actually 6 kiddos there, and NONE had taken a nap today (ironically). Its a good think all those other kiddos were there as I failed to grab the diaper bag. Dooh - so of course - BOTH the Duo had very stinky blowouts at the same time while there.
It would figure that out of 19 people there... the Duo would get their food the very last! They were not liking everyone else all having food and not them. They actually didn't eat much at all. Perhaps the snack was too big...? Perhaps just too much excitement and attention...? oh well, left over chicken fingers will make for a quick and easy lunch tomorrow.
Now I must sleep as no nap for the Duo and a long busy day, has me quite tired.
On the 'Potty' front.. Bug actually asked to sit on the potty twice today! Once was immediately after Sissy had gotten up, so I hadn't had a chance to empty the urine yet, therefore, I'm not sure if she actually went or not. The second time she didn't pee, but we celebrated both times like she had. It just may turn out that Little is potty trained before Big.
We had our Bio visit today. It was actually with all 5 siblings and both bio parents, a pet, and a handful of other teens(ish) that i have no idea who they were. (Not going to go into much detail about the actual visit). It went ok I guess. I was worried that it would be tough when it was time to leave, especially as they had NO NAP today. An epic meltdown was expected as we were actually the first ones to leave. Dad and older sister walked them out to the car, and only a tiny whimper for a moment. Then it was all about the 'snack' that they knew would be at home for them. And singing the ABC song on the way home. They love to sing in the car. We got a new toddler CD today as a gift (Thank you!) and it has some standard songs I had forgotten all about. It will be nice to sing more than our 4 songs we ask for. (Old Mcdonald, Wheels on the bus, ABC's, nick knack patty whack - as she calls it. Just in case you were curious)
We had a large family gathering for Squirrles Mom birthday at a local restaurant. There were actually 6 kiddos there, and NONE had taken a nap today (ironically). Its a good think all those other kiddos were there as I failed to grab the diaper bag. Dooh - so of course - BOTH the Duo had very stinky blowouts at the same time while there.
It would figure that out of 19 people there... the Duo would get their food the very last! They were not liking everyone else all having food and not them. They actually didn't eat much at all. Perhaps the snack was too big...? Perhaps just too much excitement and attention...? oh well, left over chicken fingers will make for a quick and easy lunch tomorrow.
Now I must sleep as no nap for the Duo and a long busy day, has me quite tired.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
ABCs & 123s
The first few weeks of the girls living with us we have concentrated on making them feel loved and secure. We have told them over and over that they are Brave, Strong, Smart, Talented little girls. Now that they have the security (most, except food) we are able to explore the learning gaps they have.
I want to cry. Sissy is unable to identify colors, is weak on shapes, has only started to learn songs (just learned the "ABC song") can count to 8, but has no concept of what any number really is, can not identify any alphabets. She is 3 years and 8 months old.
Every day we try to watch some TV that is focused on a learning gap. Leap Frog's Phonics is almost on repeat this week. We have managed to watch very little Tinkerbell. Our books we choose are focused on shapes, ABCs, feelings. Our vehicles both have nursery rhyme CDs playing. Somehow without overwhelming the poor girl we have to make up 3 1/2 years of learning as quickly as possible.
Squirrel's truck is blue. Every day that she picks up the kids we tell them she is going to pick them up in the Big Blue Truck. Sissy keeps calling the truck red. If I could just get Red, Orange, Yellow, Green and Blue I would be ecstatic.
When we talk about numbers we thought she had some concepts. She can count until 8 or so, but when you ask her for 3 pieces she can not identify 3 items. When you cook and you count scoops she can do so. Her numbers seem to be a memorized sequence rather than a concept.
Shapes are okay. We can get triangle and circle. Square and rectangle are still missing.
Alphabets. Missing. Sissy can not identify a single alphabet. We have ABC books, puzzle, bath letters, shows. We have no retention... yet.
My heart hopes that this is just a lack of exposure and not that this will be something she will be battling her whole life. Are there greater issues here? I don't know. I think we have picked the best school possible to try to help bridge the gap she has. Perhaps by December we will know.
We are not as concerned about Bug... she pays attention as we work with Sissy and she is able to pick some items out. She also doesn't seem to get as frustrated. We know that Big Sister has some gaps as well, but I wonder what their teenage siblings are missing. As frustrating as this is at least we are able to help now rather than let this poor little thing fall further behind. This just makes me even more furious at the bioparents and makes it harder and harder to support reunification.
I want to cry. Sissy is unable to identify colors, is weak on shapes, has only started to learn songs (just learned the "ABC song") can count to 8, but has no concept of what any number really is, can not identify any alphabets. She is 3 years and 8 months old.
Every day we try to watch some TV that is focused on a learning gap. Leap Frog's Phonics is almost on repeat this week. We have managed to watch very little Tinkerbell. Our books we choose are focused on shapes, ABCs, feelings. Our vehicles both have nursery rhyme CDs playing. Somehow without overwhelming the poor girl we have to make up 3 1/2 years of learning as quickly as possible.
Squirrel's truck is blue. Every day that she picks up the kids we tell them she is going to pick them up in the Big Blue Truck. Sissy keeps calling the truck red. If I could just get Red, Orange, Yellow, Green and Blue I would be ecstatic.
When we talk about numbers we thought she had some concepts. She can count until 8 or so, but when you ask her for 3 pieces she can not identify 3 items. When you cook and you count scoops she can do so. Her numbers seem to be a memorized sequence rather than a concept.
Shapes are okay. We can get triangle and circle. Square and rectangle are still missing.
Alphabets. Missing. Sissy can not identify a single alphabet. We have ABC books, puzzle, bath letters, shows. We have no retention... yet.
My heart hopes that this is just a lack of exposure and not that this will be something she will be battling her whole life. Are there greater issues here? I don't know. I think we have picked the best school possible to try to help bridge the gap she has. Perhaps by December we will know.
We are not as concerned about Bug... she pays attention as we work with Sissy and she is able to pick some items out. She also doesn't seem to get as frustrated. We know that Big Sister has some gaps as well, but I wonder what their teenage siblings are missing. As frustrating as this is at least we are able to help now rather than let this poor little thing fall further behind. This just makes me even more furious at the bioparents and makes it harder and harder to support reunification.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Real answers and a little direction
So, you may know we have a huge amount of skepticism when it comes to working with the system for our dynamic duo. Today was our meeting with our legal liaison.
Finally! Someone who sat down and talked clearly with us, not hurried and genuinely listened. Mr. J is pretty darn awesome in our books. He was a kid that had a difficult past and he was a foster worker and now he is the liaison between the kids and their lawyer since the lawyer is crazy busy. We were able to ask some direct questions, some which he was able to answer directly, and some, well, it is foster care so who knows.
He also asked us some questions. One was, if reunification does not happen what are your thoughts on permanency? It was impressive that he did not balk. I told him, some days it feels like it works and some days you just hold on and wait for the day to end. The days keep getting better so who knows. We were quite taken aback that this question is already being posed.
We asked him. What exactly is the timeline? He said to not necessarily expect more than 15 months. However, based on history some move as fast as 9 months.
He also was a little more direct with us on what the history is with the duo's family. This isn't a new family to the system and it doesn't seem like this is the first time the kids were in foster care. He didn't have a for sure on that one, and based on the ages of ours, it seems like this is the first foster situation for our duo, but I really feel for the older kids as this is most likely their second time in care.
There also seem to be some convictions that we have not been able to ascertain what they are via the internet done by either our duo's father or their sister's father. Crimes which Mr. J eluded to as not suitable for placement of children. Now, we know that Big Sister's dad is seeking custody of her, so that only leaves our duo's biodad as the evil criminal.
I'm not putting any money on anything here though as Mr. J also thought that biodad was still incarcerated and we had to inform him that he is not... we just saw him yesterday at our family visit.
Mr. J also is interested in getting the kids into some speech and play therapy. We shared that Sissy is frightened by large displays of emotion and tends to back away from large movement so there are some concerns that she is unable to tell us what has happened in the past. Then both of them are unable to pronounce most words with an "R" or a "T" and that concerns him and he would like to start addressing it immediately.
It has gotten to the point that we thing some things may be normal for foster children based on the non-reaction we have gotten from others, but Mr. J was appalled that they did not know their ABC's, colors, nursery rhymes, and other typical things. He also did not like the lack of toilet training. Wow! This was all nodded at, but not reacted to with other folks in the system. I think that we are going to work very well with Mr. J, if not for anything else other than he listens.
We also now know the next two court dates and we think we may attend. It is time that we quit getting so much information second hand and get it directly.
In other news: we didn't feel like cooking so we went out to dinner. Our original plan was closed for remodeling so we ended up at an Italian place. We told the kids it was a "fancy dinner" and they were awesome. They ate all their food and half of ours. Feeding them first made grocery shopping less of a hellish experience.
Finally! Someone who sat down and talked clearly with us, not hurried and genuinely listened. Mr. J is pretty darn awesome in our books. He was a kid that had a difficult past and he was a foster worker and now he is the liaison between the kids and their lawyer since the lawyer is crazy busy. We were able to ask some direct questions, some which he was able to answer directly, and some, well, it is foster care so who knows.
He also asked us some questions. One was, if reunification does not happen what are your thoughts on permanency? It was impressive that he did not balk. I told him, some days it feels like it works and some days you just hold on and wait for the day to end. The days keep getting better so who knows. We were quite taken aback that this question is already being posed.
We asked him. What exactly is the timeline? He said to not necessarily expect more than 15 months. However, based on history some move as fast as 9 months.
He also was a little more direct with us on what the history is with the duo's family. This isn't a new family to the system and it doesn't seem like this is the first time the kids were in foster care. He didn't have a for sure on that one, and based on the ages of ours, it seems like this is the first foster situation for our duo, but I really feel for the older kids as this is most likely their second time in care.
There also seem to be some convictions that we have not been able to ascertain what they are via the internet done by either our duo's father or their sister's father. Crimes which Mr. J eluded to as not suitable for placement of children. Now, we know that Big Sister's dad is seeking custody of her, so that only leaves our duo's biodad as the evil criminal.
I'm not putting any money on anything here though as Mr. J also thought that biodad was still incarcerated and we had to inform him that he is not... we just saw him yesterday at our family visit.
Mr. J also is interested in getting the kids into some speech and play therapy. We shared that Sissy is frightened by large displays of emotion and tends to back away from large movement so there are some concerns that she is unable to tell us what has happened in the past. Then both of them are unable to pronounce most words with an "R" or a "T" and that concerns him and he would like to start addressing it immediately.
It has gotten to the point that we thing some things may be normal for foster children based on the non-reaction we have gotten from others, but Mr. J was appalled that they did not know their ABC's, colors, nursery rhymes, and other typical things. He also did not like the lack of toilet training. Wow! This was all nodded at, but not reacted to with other folks in the system. I think that we are going to work very well with Mr. J, if not for anything else other than he listens.
We also now know the next two court dates and we think we may attend. It is time that we quit getting so much information second hand and get it directly.
In other news: we didn't feel like cooking so we went out to dinner. Our original plan was closed for remodeling so we ended up at an Italian place. We told the kids it was a "fancy dinner" and they were awesome. They ate all their food and half of ours. Feeding them first made grocery shopping less of a hellish experience.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Just get me through today
Last night I was talking with some neighbors and the topic drifted over to a little boy who is missing. He is unfortunately autistic and a foster child. The whole situation is horrible. I had to hold my tongue through a bit of the conversation though when it was said, "when you have foster children you have to watch them like it is your job."
Well, no, I have a job and foster care is not a job. Foster care is an imperfect life. Today was my great example of "I can't keep a constant eye on you two".
Last week I got some nasty "day care flu" from the neighbor... well, for some reason it came back to me for today. You see a typical parent may be able to call someone and ask for a play date, a babysitter, a something. Nope, not here. Foster parents have to have approved care givers so I just had to tough it out with the duo and trust that at times if I didn't hear any trouble I had to trust they were doing okay. I'm lucky they are as small as they are or I would have major issues keeping track of them on a day like today.
Our kid's older sister did go missing for a clip of time today. After I had the duo at their family visit, biomom and biodad went back to the playground and took an unsupervised visit with their older sister. It was something the school never should have allowed. At 3:00 she was nowhere to be found. At 3:45 she was found in a classroom. As foster parents we have to trust the systems around us. They fail at incredible rates. You spend an inordinate amount of time jumping through hoops at the beginning of the licensing process for this to only find out once you are in it that it is your own personal support network that will keep you afloat. The rest of the "system" is often invisible and missing.
Did I do okay today, yes. They ate, they were safe. Would it have been better for the girls if I could have sent them on a playdate for a few hours, yes, but that isn't how this works.
Well, no, I have a job and foster care is not a job. Foster care is an imperfect life. Today was my great example of "I can't keep a constant eye on you two".
Last week I got some nasty "day care flu" from the neighbor... well, for some reason it came back to me for today. You see a typical parent may be able to call someone and ask for a play date, a babysitter, a something. Nope, not here. Foster parents have to have approved care givers so I just had to tough it out with the duo and trust that at times if I didn't hear any trouble I had to trust they were doing okay. I'm lucky they are as small as they are or I would have major issues keeping track of them on a day like today.
Our kid's older sister did go missing for a clip of time today. After I had the duo at their family visit, biomom and biodad went back to the playground and took an unsupervised visit with their older sister. It was something the school never should have allowed. At 3:00 she was nowhere to be found. At 3:45 she was found in a classroom. As foster parents we have to trust the systems around us. They fail at incredible rates. You spend an inordinate amount of time jumping through hoops at the beginning of the licensing process for this to only find out once you are in it that it is your own personal support network that will keep you afloat. The rest of the "system" is often invisible and missing.
Did I do okay today, yes. They ate, they were safe. Would it have been better for the girls if I could have sent them on a playdate for a few hours, yes, but that isn't how this works.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
The rare great day
Every once in awhile you get that rare day that everything seems to go well. Today was that day for me with the kids.
Bug is usually the happy go lucky and Sissy difficult. Today Bug was a typical two year old and a bit cranky, but Sissy was good all day. Days like today make you feel like you can do it. We spend a lot of time feeling defeated and questioning if this was the right decision. Most days you feel like an underpaid and overworked babysitter. We have inherited all the issues, but don't get anyone else to help fix them. Quite the opposite, we have to do a reset up to three times a week when the kids have their family visits.
Deep down we really believe that this is not a permanent placement. These girls will most likely go home. We also have already started talking about the prep for that even though it may be two years down the road.
When the girls arrived we had to pull all our toys out to see what the girls liked and start to get items specifically for them. Now we are reassessing things and looking what to get them and what we should pull and put away so that when the day comes we can easily send them with the things they love and play with. It sounds silly, but I haven't pulled my farm animals from my childhood out as I know that I want to keep them (and that they chew on everything). I also have taken a stuffed animal that I let them play with when they arrived and carefully tucked that back away as I have had that forever as well. Some items as they are done with them will also be taken back up to the foster closet. It is only fair as they started us with a pretty good set of starters. Last week we took some clothes there as well. Most of the clothes that Sissy outgrows go back to the closet. The few things that we or others have bought new specifically for our house we have put away for when Bug gets big enough. In the end we probably will tuck away some pajamas in each size for a potential future placement.
Feels strange knowing that on the horizon there will be other little feet in the kid room. Probably only one next time, but I do think this was the right thing for us. No matter how most days go it is the day like today that reassures you that it will be okay. Honestly if all days were like today we wouldn't be thinking that only one next time!
Here is how smooth today went.
7:00 - Duo gets up as Squirrel is leaving for work (ugh), but I decide to not jump right up, but to allow myself to relax and see what happens. All is quiet
8:30 - I think that I probably should see what they are really up to. They are playing quietly in the living room... Sissy is dressed, but wearing Bug's pants. I ask Sissy to go put her own pants on and she does without a fuss.
9:00 - Breakfast - they help put everything on the table
10:00 - Play outside - we were doing so well that I put our toys on the neighbor's lawn and I was able to mow our yard (while they were out!)
11:30 - Lunch - ate like champs and helped clean up
12:45 - Both picked out a book to read for rest time and they both read and napped with no arguements
2:30 - Up and come downstairs to play - they don't fuss and need kid TV
4:30 - Squirrel comes home
5:15 - Squirrel and girls go play outside and I finish dinner
6:00 - Eat without fussing
6:45 - Walk
7:30 - Bath (minimal fussing)
8:30 - Bed (neither one challenged and got up)
Throughout the day I did not change Sissy's diaper once! I reminded her often to go potty and when she was wet I had her go up and change her own pull-up. Not once did we pretend we were a baby today. Too bad there is a family visit tomorrow as that always seems to trigger baby play where we babble and try to be a baby for attention.
This next week will be a challenge as there is no day care (closed for week) so the kids and I get almost every day together (I have to work Thursday so Squirrel gets Thursday). We also have a legal counsel visit and 3 family visits so that will stir things up a bit.
Bug is usually the happy go lucky and Sissy difficult. Today Bug was a typical two year old and a bit cranky, but Sissy was good all day. Days like today make you feel like you can do it. We spend a lot of time feeling defeated and questioning if this was the right decision. Most days you feel like an underpaid and overworked babysitter. We have inherited all the issues, but don't get anyone else to help fix them. Quite the opposite, we have to do a reset up to three times a week when the kids have their family visits.
Deep down we really believe that this is not a permanent placement. These girls will most likely go home. We also have already started talking about the prep for that even though it may be two years down the road.
When the girls arrived we had to pull all our toys out to see what the girls liked and start to get items specifically for them. Now we are reassessing things and looking what to get them and what we should pull and put away so that when the day comes we can easily send them with the things they love and play with. It sounds silly, but I haven't pulled my farm animals from my childhood out as I know that I want to keep them (and that they chew on everything). I also have taken a stuffed animal that I let them play with when they arrived and carefully tucked that back away as I have had that forever as well. Some items as they are done with them will also be taken back up to the foster closet. It is only fair as they started us with a pretty good set of starters. Last week we took some clothes there as well. Most of the clothes that Sissy outgrows go back to the closet. The few things that we or others have bought new specifically for our house we have put away for when Bug gets big enough. In the end we probably will tuck away some pajamas in each size for a potential future placement.
Feels strange knowing that on the horizon there will be other little feet in the kid room. Probably only one next time, but I do think this was the right thing for us. No matter how most days go it is the day like today that reassures you that it will be okay. Honestly if all days were like today we wouldn't be thinking that only one next time!
Here is how smooth today went.
7:00 - Duo gets up as Squirrel is leaving for work (ugh), but I decide to not jump right up, but to allow myself to relax and see what happens. All is quiet
8:30 - I think that I probably should see what they are really up to. They are playing quietly in the living room... Sissy is dressed, but wearing Bug's pants. I ask Sissy to go put her own pants on and she does without a fuss.
9:00 - Breakfast - they help put everything on the table
10:00 - Play outside - we were doing so well that I put our toys on the neighbor's lawn and I was able to mow our yard (while they were out!)
11:30 - Lunch - ate like champs and helped clean up
12:45 - Both picked out a book to read for rest time and they both read and napped with no arguements
2:30 - Up and come downstairs to play - they don't fuss and need kid TV
4:30 - Squirrel comes home
5:15 - Squirrel and girls go play outside and I finish dinner
6:00 - Eat without fussing
6:45 - Walk
7:30 - Bath (minimal fussing)
8:30 - Bed (neither one challenged and got up)
Throughout the day I did not change Sissy's diaper once! I reminded her often to go potty and when she was wet I had her go up and change her own pull-up. Not once did we pretend we were a baby today. Too bad there is a family visit tomorrow as that always seems to trigger baby play where we babble and try to be a baby for attention.
This next week will be a challenge as there is no day care (closed for week) so the kids and I get almost every day together (I have to work Thursday so Squirrel gets Thursday). We also have a legal counsel visit and 3 family visits so that will stir things up a bit.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
No bug... thats Yuckie!
Today went pretty well, (other than the melt down that is currently happening over putting on our pajamas). Why is it that bedtime is my favorite time of day; and the Duos least favorite. Actually bed time usually goes fairly smooth theses days.
Rabbit had a concert, so we all went to Clio to watch. The Duo made the entire first half before a playground break was needed. Ice cream was promised IF we behaved and stayed in our row of seats. Sissy always has to test the limits by going just one or two steps past; but really - Toddlers at a concert.. they were very well behaved. Bug however did keep licking the used gum on the bottom of the stadium flip up style seats. Yes, a big 'thank you' to the folks that are too lazy to actually use a trash can for their gum! Rabbit said that her fellow band members could hear the Duo discussing the Ice Cream up on stage. Bug actually was clapping along, and keeping pretty good time; for a two year old. I think she would sit better if Sissy did. Bug seemed to enjoy both the concerts we attended a bit more than Sissy.
So now it is bed time. We thought we would get some excitement over all the BOOM, POPs and ZING, CRACKLE, FTTTT noise outside.. They had already said this morning that they wanted to see fireworks today.. so we thought once they heard them they might fuss a bit. but, not a peep about that. The PJ meltdown is now over and all is quiet. Surprising because they actually took a three hour nap today.
Lets see what melt downs we can create tomorrow.
Rabbit had a concert, so we all went to Clio to watch. The Duo made the entire first half before a playground break was needed. Ice cream was promised IF we behaved and stayed in our row of seats. Sissy always has to test the limits by going just one or two steps past; but really - Toddlers at a concert.. they were very well behaved. Bug however did keep licking the used gum on the bottom of the stadium flip up style seats. Yes, a big 'thank you' to the folks that are too lazy to actually use a trash can for their gum! Rabbit said that her fellow band members could hear the Duo discussing the Ice Cream up on stage. Bug actually was clapping along, and keeping pretty good time; for a two year old. I think she would sit better if Sissy did. Bug seemed to enjoy both the concerts we attended a bit more than Sissy.
So now it is bed time. We thought we would get some excitement over all the BOOM, POPs and ZING, CRACKLE, FTTTT noise outside.. They had already said this morning that they wanted to see fireworks today.. so we thought once they heard them they might fuss a bit. but, not a peep about that. The PJ meltdown is now over and all is quiet. Surprising because they actually took a three hour nap today.
Lets see what melt downs we can create tomorrow.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Fireworks!
Today I didn't have to work, but I still took the kids to "school" and what a great day it was! Our house is mostly reclaimed. Both Squirrel and I feel out of sorts when our house is too messy so we have definitely been out of sorts since the kids have been here. We had shuffled so many things around that we just hadn't gotten to taking care of. We still have areas to "fix" but overall it is better. Before the girls, their room had been our play/storage/guest so a lot of those things are now in our music room, but I may be able to get to that this week.
After the kids and Squirrel got home we all went out to Mexican where I managed to open the door right into Sissy's mouth! Well, more appropriately she danced right into the door as I was opening it. She is not a very calm girl and is always darting side to side, flinging her body this way and that so it was unfortunate, but not a surprise. Sissy insisted she had to go to the hospital, but a napkin and a Sprite fixed that. Usually Bug is upset when her sister is upset, but she just wanted the chips. This kid loves chips and salsa. When another couple was leaving they stopped at our table and said, "you know the drama just increases when they are teenagers" and I wanted to reply that the beauty of it is that I don't have to keep them that long.
We all enjoyed our food... Bug demolished some beans and a burrito. Sissy enjoyed her taco and ate all the sour cream we had. Both girls tore up the sides of tomatoes. After dinner we returned home for a bit and had them put on their pajamas before our next "nnnvnnntuh" or "adventure".
I had the brilliant idea that we would take the truck to go see fireworks. The girls always remark about fireworks and I figured that if we didn't go we would have issues at home when they heard them outside. It was supposed to be good viewing downtown, but Sissy is having issues with crowds and displays of excitement (freaks her out and she starts crying) so I wanted to find a good spot. We found a great spot that wasn't too busy (we were the first vehicle) and we piled into the back of the truck. Yes, we used the truck as a raised viewing area and a playpen! It worked fabulous. Since we went a bit early we had about an hour and half wait, but we packed some "new" puzzles, bubbles, snacks, blankets and chairs so we were great.
After the kids and Squirrel got home we all went out to Mexican where I managed to open the door right into Sissy's mouth! Well, more appropriately she danced right into the door as I was opening it. She is not a very calm girl and is always darting side to side, flinging her body this way and that so it was unfortunate, but not a surprise. Sissy insisted she had to go to the hospital, but a napkin and a Sprite fixed that. Usually Bug is upset when her sister is upset, but she just wanted the chips. This kid loves chips and salsa. When another couple was leaving they stopped at our table and said, "you know the drama just increases when they are teenagers" and I wanted to reply that the beauty of it is that I don't have to keep them that long.
We all enjoyed our food... Bug demolished some beans and a burrito. Sissy enjoyed her taco and ate all the sour cream we had. Both girls tore up the sides of tomatoes. After dinner we returned home for a bit and had them put on their pajamas before our next "nnnvnnntuh" or "adventure".
I had the brilliant idea that we would take the truck to go see fireworks. The girls always remark about fireworks and I figured that if we didn't go we would have issues at home when they heard them outside. It was supposed to be good viewing downtown, but Sissy is having issues with crowds and displays of excitement (freaks her out and she starts crying) so I wanted to find a good spot. We found a great spot that wasn't too busy (we were the first vehicle) and we piled into the back of the truck. Yes, we used the truck as a raised viewing area and a playpen! It worked fabulous. Since we went a bit early we had about an hour and half wait, but we packed some "new" puzzles, bubbles, snacks, blankets and chairs so we were great.
We were very impressed by most of those around us... at one time even some folks came up near our truck (since there was open space) and were going to set off some of their fireworks, but they took one look at the dynamic duo and didn't want to spook them and went to find a different spot. The only folks I questioned the sanity of were the folks right in front of us that let their son use a torch to light his and his younger brother's fireworks and the older one looked to be about 10.
Both were asleep by the time we made the short three mile drive home and that is it. Other than a busted lip a nearly perfect day. (and now that we saw fireworks tonight we don't have to tomorrow)
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Coloring books
Really Squirrel should be doing the blog tonight since she had the most time with the duo today, but that is exactly why she isn't. Squirrel is sleeping.
We both seem to be taking this journey differently. I'm a much more pragmatic and logic driven thinker and Squirrel a bit more feeling. So, I'm a bit tired, but overall okay with the whole process and the past 5 weeks. I see what good we are doing every day and I take it as such. Mind you, I'm speaking for her right now, but she is a bit more worried about what happens next. The what if we are completely in love with the duo and their biomom pulls herself up and regains the ability to care for them. That prevents Squirrel from just loving them today without barriers.
Maybe I'll think differently next week when daycare is closed and I am home with them all day every day.
That is one of the dangers of foster care though. You are supposed to love them and they are potentially going home.
Biomom did her second visit this week. Two out of three is the best week yet. For the first time she brought the kids gifts. Each of them received a coloring book. It is a start. I see it as progress. Squirrel sees it as frustration. I see her point. How does a coloring book fix the fact that you had your kids living in such conditions that they were taken from you? It doesn't, but it is sure better than showing up empty handed.
Tomorrow will mark 5 weeks with the duo. A whirlwind it has been
We both seem to be taking this journey differently. I'm a much more pragmatic and logic driven thinker and Squirrel a bit more feeling. So, I'm a bit tired, but overall okay with the whole process and the past 5 weeks. I see what good we are doing every day and I take it as such. Mind you, I'm speaking for her right now, but she is a bit more worried about what happens next. The what if we are completely in love with the duo and their biomom pulls herself up and regains the ability to care for them. That prevents Squirrel from just loving them today without barriers.
Maybe I'll think differently next week when daycare is closed and I am home with them all day every day.
That is one of the dangers of foster care though. You are supposed to love them and they are potentially going home.
Biomom did her second visit this week. Two out of three is the best week yet. For the first time she brought the kids gifts. Each of them received a coloring book. It is a start. I see it as progress. Squirrel sees it as frustration. I see her point. How does a coloring book fix the fact that you had your kids living in such conditions that they were taken from you? It doesn't, but it is sure better than showing up empty handed.
Tomorrow will mark 5 weeks with the duo. A whirlwind it has been
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
No, you can't visit today
One must ponder. Does everyone assume that foster parents have nothing else to do other than work with agencies in the foster system? I mean really, is it a surprise to anyone that foster parents have jobs?
Family visits - 3 times a week - all between the hours of 9-5 and all on weekdays
Sibling visits - 1 time a month - luckily our kids' sister's foster mom is awesome and we do this in the evenings and weekends and nearly every other week
Case worker visits - 1 time a month scheduled and 1 drop in per quarter, preferably during business hours
Medical appointments - okay, yes all parents have to do this during business hours, but it is just part of my list, but really, it takes us twice as long to complete because we have to use the W.I.C. clinic
And now add legal counsel - another appointment that wants to meet during business hours, and by the way, does today work?
Are you kidding me?
I believe from I what I read legal counsel is supposed to be as often as once a month... we have passed our one month mark so maybe he was calling today to cover his own butt. Who in their right mind calls and asks to have an appointment that same day? I have two toddlers. I'm just sitting home twiddling my fingers. In our house we have learned to not only say no to the toddlers, but also the adults. He was quite taken aback and stammered for a minute and said, "well, I'm not available until next week" to which I replied, okay, that works better for me as the kids won't have day care next week. We picked a day, Tuesday, to which he replied, "see you Tuesday"... hold on here buddy... I'm not sitting at home all day Tuesday just waiting for your visit, what time are you coming. Again he seemed surprised. Really, what time are you coming? We settled on 1:30... so next Tuesday at 1:30 my girls will meet their legal counsel.
So that brings me to my original thought... do all these folks assume that foster parents have no jobs? Really, if they wanted us available 24/7 we would be receiving more compensation than $125/week (each child) for all the child's needs. Just this weekend we needed to get two booster seats for them so that we could transport them in both vehicles and that was $80 (I got only what was necessary). Then there are the normal things, food, clothing, diapers, day care... yeap, we pick up part of the day care cost. When it comes down to it, we are spending more than we are compensated, so yes, we work. No, you can not have an appointment today.
Squirrel and I have been so incredibly lucky with our co-workers being supportive, but there is also a limit and we don't want to find where that limit exists. The weekday family visits - our agency now does all the transport and supervision for. Legal counsel - well, we will hopefully get it set that it isn't spur of the moment middle of the day crap. I'm hoping after 4 works because we also have the kids in "school". Lastly our case-worker... I'm not expecting our visits will be more than required and they will be super quick... probably some 4 o'clock visits as she is flying through from one house to another and to and from court.
Yes, If we didn't have to deal with the adults in the system this would be a lot easier.
In other parts of our world...
Sissy pooped in the big girl potty! (man does that girl have the smelliest poo ever)
Sissy and Bug went to their first band concert. They lasted for almost an hour!
The dogs got into the trash (diapers) and shredded them in our room. Just a good reason to finally part with the comforter that was starting to shred.
All in all... a pretty normal day
Family visits - 3 times a week - all between the hours of 9-5 and all on weekdays
Sibling visits - 1 time a month - luckily our kids' sister's foster mom is awesome and we do this in the evenings and weekends and nearly every other week
Case worker visits - 1 time a month scheduled and 1 drop in per quarter, preferably during business hours
Medical appointments - okay, yes all parents have to do this during business hours, but it is just part of my list, but really, it takes us twice as long to complete because we have to use the W.I.C. clinic
And now add legal counsel - another appointment that wants to meet during business hours, and by the way, does today work?
Are you kidding me?
I believe from I what I read legal counsel is supposed to be as often as once a month... we have passed our one month mark so maybe he was calling today to cover his own butt. Who in their right mind calls and asks to have an appointment that same day? I have two toddlers. I'm just sitting home twiddling my fingers. In our house we have learned to not only say no to the toddlers, but also the adults. He was quite taken aback and stammered for a minute and said, "well, I'm not available until next week" to which I replied, okay, that works better for me as the kids won't have day care next week. We picked a day, Tuesday, to which he replied, "see you Tuesday"... hold on here buddy... I'm not sitting at home all day Tuesday just waiting for your visit, what time are you coming. Again he seemed surprised. Really, what time are you coming? We settled on 1:30... so next Tuesday at 1:30 my girls will meet their legal counsel.
So that brings me to my original thought... do all these folks assume that foster parents have no jobs? Really, if they wanted us available 24/7 we would be receiving more compensation than $125/week (each child) for all the child's needs. Just this weekend we needed to get two booster seats for them so that we could transport them in both vehicles and that was $80 (I got only what was necessary). Then there are the normal things, food, clothing, diapers, day care... yeap, we pick up part of the day care cost. When it comes down to it, we are spending more than we are compensated, so yes, we work. No, you can not have an appointment today.
Squirrel and I have been so incredibly lucky with our co-workers being supportive, but there is also a limit and we don't want to find where that limit exists. The weekday family visits - our agency now does all the transport and supervision for. Legal counsel - well, we will hopefully get it set that it isn't spur of the moment middle of the day crap. I'm hoping after 4 works because we also have the kids in "school". Lastly our case-worker... I'm not expecting our visits will be more than required and they will be super quick... probably some 4 o'clock visits as she is flying through from one house to another and to and from court.
Yes, If we didn't have to deal with the adults in the system this would be a lot easier.
In other parts of our world...
Sissy pooped in the big girl potty! (man does that girl have the smelliest poo ever)
Sissy and Bug went to their first band concert. They lasted for almost an hour!
The dogs got into the trash (diapers) and shredded them in our room. Just a good reason to finally part with the comforter that was starting to shred.
All in all... a pretty normal day
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