We had to have the conversation with Sissy tonight. The conversation about not seeing Mommy or Daddy and when we do it is only going to be for a little while and then she has to come back home with us. I don't know how much she comprehends. It is super hard to try to explain what isn't right at her Mommy's house and what is good at our house. All we can do is explain that we will always give her bubble baths, keep her belly full, take her to school, and love her. How do you logic these heavy issues that adults can barely handle with a three year old. Throughout the week we have had small pieces of this, but today it was unavoidable. Every day we have to explain that this is their house. Someday we may have to explain to them that they will be moving out. The kids never win in this situation.
Today we moved some things around to help the home feel more permanent to them. The shelf from the girls' room was brought down to the living room to be their "toy shelf" and extra items from their room were removed. We got our "new" bikes and helmets out today. Our routine is also becoming more set. All of the kid clothes have been put away in their wardrobe. All the items too big or too small have been tucked away for another day. This morning before the kids were even out of their pajamas I spied them sitting in front of their wardrobe putting on their shoes. They love their shoes. It is hard as a foster parent to be really prepared as you don't know who will be coming to live with you. Had we accepted the case right before the girls we would be redecorating in teen boy stuff rather than looking for Tinkerbell items.
Bug is adjusting much better than Sissy, but she is a year younger. When she first arrived she would start in on an angry muttering "story" several times a day. Now we only see the "story" once a day and it has only been a week. Today Bug didn't yell "Dammit" so it is a win. She has much more smiles and joy every day. Bug is a naturally happy child and that hasn't been taken from her. I really wish that Sissy didn't have the wounds to her little heart. She wants so desperately to be loved. We also have to be incredibly careful when correcting her. The smallest thing can send her into an upset mood needing a lot of reassurance and love.
This is all so challenging. It is so much easier to love a happy child. Sissy takes so much energy from you. She doesn't mean to, but she craves the attention and has such a much more troubled mind. We now make sure that every time we give a bit of attention to Bug we do the same for Sissy.
It is also getting easier as the kids self-play more. The need for reassurance is subsiding. We are also not having to chase to the refrigerator every two minutes. We do however need to get a refrigerator latch and some cabinet latches very soon.
Tomorrow our case worker comes to visit, and we have been gently prepping the girls. Wednesday is our Dr. visit and we have already been prepping for that. The beauty of the Dr. visit is that we understand that it has to be done before we can go to school and they just adored school the other night.
In the end all we can do is tuck them in, tell them we love them and tell them how smart, talented, strong and brave they are.
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