It has been 3 weeks today since the girls have seen their bioparents.
It has been 2 weeks since the last court date where the visits were suspended until a letter from the Dr. stating the lice have been taken care of has been provided.
It isn't our fault, but I feel so terrible for the girls. They have no idea of the situation they were pulled out of and even after a 3 week hiatus from seeing their bios they still ask about them. Sissy this morning was all a chatter, but she does understand that she "can't live with daddy until he gets his water fixed." That was as good as I could do. I am grateful that she is young enough that I don't have to explain what neglect is and how she has been affected by it.
This week we did talk about hunger. We made some pizzas last weekend and I put one on the table. Sissy was insistent that we did not eat it all and that we weren't to take the last piece. I took the pizza. The poor thing about fell out of her chair bawling (but she didn't leave her seat because she knows that leaving her seat means dinner is done). I quickly retrieved the second pizza from the kitchen (we eat in a separate dining room) and placed it on the table. She looked in wonder at it and then I went for the hard questions... I asked my three year old what it was like to not have enough food. It was the first time we had a direct conversation about hunger. Not something I would have ever thought would happen with a three year old, but I have learned that many things I have to talk with her as though she is a young adult. She absorbs these conversations and days later she will bring up pieces of them.
Speaking of dinner... we now have both the girls at the "big table" and have abandoned the high chair. We added some kaboosts to their chairs and now all of us are able to sit together.
I find that most things I want to write about are in working with Sissy... you see, Bug is just a normal 2 year old... not as scarred. She doesn't fret about food, shelter, people... she is just a selfish little two year old.
We have started to have a family sit down every weekend to plan the next week's meals. It is strange how Sissy thrives on having a plan. We can keep our "adventures" as surprise events, but she must know when we are going on it. For example, we have already spoken about tomorrow's plans. In the morning we must wash the face paint off our face and then we will go to school (clothes are already laid out and she knows what she is wearing). We will then be at school all day, but we will bring a picture of her face painting to show her teacher. After school we will go out for burritos (we used to say tacos, but then we can't convince her to eat a burrito and they are so much more toddler friendly) and then have an adventure before bed. She will remember it all.
Today we went on an adventure after school (thus the face painting) and when it was time to go home she remarked that we had to have tater-tot casserole... we told her yesterday. There may be a time when we will have to follow written plans as it will make her feel comfortable and that is the only way we will remember what we said we are doing!
During tonight's adventure we saw some traditional Mexican dancers. The girls were fascinated! It is awesome to see them watch the world around them. We try very hard to show them a lot of diversity, but when we stumbled upon something from their heritage it was wonderful that they enjoyed it. I'm sure that their direct biofamily isn't terribly involved in the community, but we hope that we are able to give them some sort of heritage.Their attention span at the adventure was amazing! We were probably there for two hours which bodes well for this weekend's trip to the theater. At one stop there was a storyteller and Sissy stayed for the whole thing. Bug of course needed to wander at the end.
Not only does Sissy do planning, but she also is very much into trying to please... I feel terrible because I know she is doing it because she thinks that is how she gets the love and doesn't quite understand that it comes unconditionally, but it is good because she follows through with things for us. This week we started wearing our coats to school in the morning and when Sissy didn't bring it home I asked her to bring it every day as that is our only fall coat and we need it... she hasn't forgotten it since. Tonight I spoke with her about how I found her in her bed last night and I would bet a hundred dollars that she will never sleep as I found her again. She was halfway off her bed and on the windowsill. 
No comments:
Post a Comment